This past week was very busy for dates, I had them on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday.
Tuesdays date was one of those office girls that loved her job and essentially lived at her office. We had been tossing random messages back and forth for around 3 weeks before I initiated a meeting and she quickly agreed. We met at a coffee shop on Tuesday evening and it actually went ok.
This was a girl that could’ve probably worked out but since I was so busy I never got back in touch with her after our date. Although, when leaving the coffee shop and heading to our cars I went in for a hug and it felt very awkward – after that I had a feeling that while she likely enjoyed my company and conversation, it was unlikely any request for a second date would’ve been granted by her.
After all this dating, I’ve began to just trust my gut instinct as its usually bang on with this type of stuff.
Fridays date was pretty bad actually, in its own post it would’ve been called Teacher #4 but there just wasn’t enough substance to warrant enough words to make a singular post about it. She had initially engaged contact first, we sent messages back and forth and then I asked to meet in her area. The problem with that was there weren’t any good cafes or coffee shops in her area, so we ended up at a dessert bar type-place.
So picture this, her a little over dressed, me a little under dressed in a beaming bright room surrounded by screaming kids and people constantly bumping into the back of your seat. Her talking about the most mundane and boring topics possible, followed by long awkward silences – for 3 hours.
I’d get talking about something and within seconds “la la la” awkward silence. I even tried to move the date from the terrible dessert bar to a Walmart across the street but she quickly nixed that idea. In the middle of another silence-spell I did the old “clap, welp I guess we’d better…” only for her to engage in another mind numbing try at conversation. But soon after she got the hint, we walked out front, said “later” to each other and that was that.
Saturdays date was at least fun, this one started with the usual messages as well as a phone call that went really well. We met in her part of town at a jazz bar but as we entered the place it must have been “live country music night” because that’s what we ended up with. We each had a drink here before going to another more relaxed bar further down the street. She was lots of fun, good dialogue, sexy, unique and flirty. On 90% of my dates I opt not to drink, but this one I did – and when I drink, I tend to get a little “touchy feely”.
We eventually found ourselves wrapped up in each other walking down the street and spoke many times about catching a play together for date #2, but that coming to fruition is yet to be seen.
I know one thing, 3 dates in one week is simply too much for me! Its now Sunday and aside from a little fun last night my weekend has essentially been wasted. Dating this much is a full time job and considering my humble beginnings on Tinder a few months ago I never envisioned it getting this crazy. In just 3 months I’ve met 15 women and only went for a second date with the very first one because I took it more serious when I started.
Have any of the 15 been long term material that I overlooked? Maybe, but I am not so sure.
Moving forward I am going to be utilizing my gut instinct more as it has been right multiple times. If we don’t chat about anything interesting pre-meet, then there will be no meeting because statistically nothing changes in person. I’ve also noticed that the ones with more “build up” tend to be better dates and more fun than the ones where we meet after just a few messages. Basically, if there isn’t a connection made in the pre meeting stage, there wont be in person – it’s just a waste of time and energy.
So going forward I’ll be making a few changes in hopes of having some better connections and not just “dates”.