“So and So has sent you a wink” was the title of the email I had been sent to let me know that someone was interested in one of my dating profiles.
I opened it, and saw a cute little head shot of a smiling brunette – “not bad” I thought..
I went into the site and checked out her profile that had 5 pictures. Head shot, Head shot, Head shot, Head shot, Head shot.
I made a comment about something in the background in one of them and she replied with something witty and pretty funny..
And that’s how it started.
Now let me first state that at this point I have learned something about online dating and how women often portray themselves, but this one started before that knowledge was concrete regarding photo trickery and other tactics dependent on the situation and female. However even then this particular one stood out from the others.. She was either trying a totally new approach or was simply new to this, because she came across wholesome and fresh – believable – and funny too.
I scanned the head shots as much as I could to try and make out a body style. Her profile description said “curvy” but we all know that term gets thrown around pretty loosely these days. Not long after initial dialogue I asked her about it and she said “well, I looked up curvy girls on Google and that’s what I am, I am not blubbery” – and with that I decided I’d take a chance on this one, helped immensely by her humor + personality + occupation and assets = that oh so attractive.. drive
Ding Ding, pass go and collect $200
This one started during and after some of the others so I was busy with the texting and messaging of several girls and sometimes she dropped to the bottom of the list, but she made sure to let me know about it, daily.
“Am I old news?” got tossed around once or twice as with comments regarding “the other girls”, to which I kept quiet. But once the previous teacher date was done she was the list topper, helped largely by her constant communication and non intrusive but odd/interesting questions or chat topics. She’d also let me know little things during texting like “GTG for now, at work” or “sorry for the silence, I was driving home”, that stuff adds up, especially when you know its true.
However, as I got more involved in talking with her, she got a little too involved – to the point that I was clearly more than an 80% chance one date wonder which is how I view these things. To her I was 110% “pretty damn sure” going to be her next long term squeeze but she sure sent an array of mixed messages to go with that.
“You may projectile vomit when you see me though” – “I need sex, come see me” – “Do you like blowjobs?” – “I am not having sex with you the first time I see you” – “I am looking for long term” – “You’d make such a good FWB”
I couldn’t quite get my head around it either, but I learned that some of the more raunchy ones were sent when her other hand was operating a vibrator, so I learned to chuckle at those ones and not put much weight into them. 7-times in one day was her record, helped by I don’t even know because I never sent her anything with erotic intentions. Little things like me typing “I like curves” would set her off, apparently.
Keep in mind I still have no idea what her body type is at this point, she could be 400lbs for all I know – so I am really trying to keep my reservations about the whole thing but have also accepted the fact that she isn’t going to show me a picture, I am going to have to go meet her – and she wants to meet at her place.
Yes, date #1, at her home and we’ve never seen each other or met in person before.
What. Am. I. Doing.
Now I know what you’re thinking, and I thought that too – I am a guy after all.
But those thoughts were mostly dashed with “We can’t have sex the first time, it’ll ruin everything, I purposely didn’t shave my legs” (to which I asked how bad they were, and she said not bad 😉 So whether sex was her intention or not, she made it very clear that she didn’t want to do that on our first visit, and honestly I am not even a one night stand type of guy. My main intention was to see if I was even attracted to her.
So I got in my car and drove to her house and sent her a text from the parking lot, “I am here”.
“The doors open” she responded.
The door is open? WTF..
I opened the door and saw a long staircase leading up to her place, with her kinda hiding at the top…. “hi” as I took my shoes off and walked up the stairs to meet her.
She was big boned for sure, not blubbery as she said – but still a little bigger than I was looking (or hoping) for. Still, I gave her hug before she nervously said “do you want a tour of the place” – which I obliged. After a blurry fast tour we ended up back in the living room and she asked me which board game I wanted to play (her idea, which she told me before I showed up) and I said it really didn’t matter. She pulled one out and then got us a couple glasses of water…
We really just played the game together and chatted for a couple hours – and it was late as I didn’t even get there until 11pm but was putting my shoes on to leave before 1am. A short meet and greet indeed and very odd to have it at her place.
I didn’t contact her that night or the day after, then I got a text from her saying she was sad that it wasn’t going to be a thing. Then went into 20 question mode asking why I didn’t like her.
Apparently my body language the night before spoke volumes about not being interested – which I had no idea I was doing, but she’s right (it also explains A LOT of previously unexplainable things regarding others too, good lesson!)
I summed up her question of why with that I didn’t know why because I wasn’t a physics major but I still thought she was very cool. We sent a few kind messages back and forth and agreed to “stay friends” but its unlikely I’ll ever see her again.