The Sales Chick (Push and pull)

30s dating

Blog #15

We’ll call her Tammy.

She sent me a message on the site and after going back and forth just a couple times she asked to “Take this to BBM” (phone to phone messaging) and I obliged.

On just the second day of messaging one another, and the first using BBM she was sending me pictures of things she was doing and places she was.  I found this fine – I didn’t mind, nor did I have anything better to do, but still, I thought it was a little weird.

I took it as a sign that she was light in the “friend department” and probably just enjoyed chatting and sharing things.

Her pictures looked pretty good, she had a good job, a new car and owned her own home – she certainly had her act together at 34 but even with the close communication, she never opened up like most of the others did.  She wasn’t guarded or secretive, just sorta’ quiet…

Not long after this I started asking when she’d like to meet up for a coffee but she was a pretty busy girl working long hours, driving a long commute and in the midst of buying a second home that was closer to her workplace.  I told her that I understood and to just let me know when she’d have time to meet.

I think it was during the second week of messaging that she told me she would be able to meet that Friday evening after work, around 6:30 at a coffee shop local to my place.  It was set.

The messaging at this point had slowed down to a crawl but we usually sent one or two per day leading up to the date, I think some days even went by without any.  From my experience this is a De-attachment process – to make the entire thing quick release when the meeting goes poorly.

To me this is welcomed at this point in the dating game 🙂

At 6:30 that Friday I drove over to the coffee shop and sat in my car, 6:30 came and I didn’t see her.  I sent her a note at 6:40 and she responded “OMG I thought we were meeting at 7pm!?? I feel so bad”

Now, at the time I had another date the day after this one at 7pm so I was a little confused and told her not to worry, but after checking later we never re-scheduled for 7pm – at least not that I was aware of.

Seeing as she was going to be at least another hour, I went and got something to eat and waited for her message letting me know she was on her way as she’d been held up at work.  She said she’d “explain when I get there”.


Fast forward to 7:30 and I am back there waiting, and she pulled up.

I met her at the parking meter and small talk ensued – she was late as she had been making offers on houses with her agent and quickly broke out her phone to show me pictures of them all and let me in on the details.  This took us from the sidewalk into the coffee shop, through the ordering process and into our seats.

Visually she was attractive but not as good as her pictures (100% normal) and came across as cool, funny, smart and kind.  She complimented me countless times on several things and we eventually closed the place at midnight.  We chatted a little by our cars, hugged each other and left.

Her saying “see you soon” as she got into hers..

I drove home, chalked it up as a good date and set into the “wait to message” mode.  The date was Friday and I was going to give her some time to think before I messaged her on Sunday.

The day after (Saturday) I had a date with video girl (as you’ll read about) and it was during that date that Tammy sent me a message

“Hey you, how are you? They accepted my offer on the house!”

We messaged each other back and forth (yes, I sent a couple while on the other date :/ ) and when I got home I shot her a note “When are we going to see each other again”?

She responded that she wasn’t sure as she was very busy but she’d get back to me.  The day after and I think even the day after that we sent each other notes but after the one night neither of us has engaged since.  I am not going to because the ball is in her court – and after thinking about it, I am simply not as keen on her as I may have been before.

As far as her – I have no idea what happened, maybe she is busy – but most likely she took the anti-rejection as a self-esteem boost and went to apply that energy on someone else, who knows..


I still have her in my BBM list (for now) – time will tell!

Update: About a month after our meeting I noticed she had blocked me on eHarmony, so I removed her from my BBM list.


Till next time







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