It sounds crazy, but think about it. Have you ever purposely not messaged someone on a dating site because they seem like they may actually work as a match? Have you purposely engaged with people who you knew deep down wouldn’t turn into anything? Why would someone do this? Its simple…
Fear of actually finding a long-term relationship
Deep down some of us may fear an actual long-term relationship and this can happen for various reasons such as bad previous experiences and /or heartbreak. Its pretty easy to be an active dater while also avoiding anything resembling commitment by dating people who will never turn into anything serious.
There is another benefit to dating less than ideal people for you…
If it doesn’t work out or they reject, who cares!
Its pretty easy to toss aside any feelings toward a potential match when its doomed from the start. Attraction or some other element may line up (usually sex or the potential thereof) but when you truly aren’t 100% into that person, generally you’re going to be able to deflect them or any feelings you had and move onto the next one when the inevitable ending comes.
What’s the root cause of this?
Trying your best and getting hurt or not willing to put in the work required to court a proper match are usually why people do it, but do you know how bad relationships begin? You just read it.