The drunken brush with “organic dating”

I'll take the brunette

I’ll take the brunette!

We all have that one crazy friend.  The one that drinks too much, talks too much, gets into trouble with the law and is just an absolute riot to be around.  Well, he spent the weekend at my place and we went to the local bar together.

During (many) drinks on my balcony he repeatedly told me I was crazy for doing all this online dating.  He brought up viable points, such as cost (likely close to $2000 by now) and just what was I exactly getting out of it? (so far absolutely nothing)

“Dude, you have this sweet pad here, a sick car and all of that down there.  What is it that you want?

Me: “A girlfriend”

Him: Then man, go down there and get one.

We then agreed that we would hit the bar (a big, busy, packed with women, within walking distance – bar) tonight, and we’d be playing by his rules.

I agreed.

I had already drank way too much to try to attempt this but I figured he would at least be an ice breaker and I could take things from there – if only it was so easy.  When we arrived and paid the cover we went to the bar and got food – yes, food, the only two idiots eating at a packed bar on a Saturday night.  Although as we finished I noticed a very cute brunette giving me pleasant glances.  She was standing with her red-head friend and after she realized that there was two of us, and two of them, they came and stood beside us at the bar where we were sitting.

I told Jamie “Hey, right there, make your move, they’re handing themselves to us on a platter – this couldn’t be any easier”

Him: “Not feeling it man”

Right then I reached over and touched the red-head on the arm and then scoffed back into my seat – intending to make it look like HE had touched her, and be forced to say something to her.  But what did he do?  He got up and left ME there all by myself.

I then went over to them and said “He likes you, he’s just nervous” – like a total and complete moron.  However, the cute brunette took this in and began talking to me, what about – I cannot remember, but we did end up going out to the patio together, the 4 of us – and nobody said anything to anyone.  Awkward?  Indeed.

Out of nowhere some world cup fanatic came bouncing across and we ended up talking to him, the 2 girls left.  We soon followed them back inside but Jamie was done with the bar and wanted to go back to the balcony for more drinks “in peace”.

As I was leaving I saw the brunette standing by the bar again, we locked eyes and I gave her a light touch and a “good night” on my way by as she smiled and said the same.

Its stuff like that, why I usually just default to online dating.



7 thoughts on “The drunken brush with “organic dating”

  1. One time, a drunk old man started massaging my shoulders. My best friend didn’t realize it, so I kept saying our code word for creepy situations. She forgot the code word, though, so I was just yelling about Massachusetts while some creepy guy rubbed me. My family doesn’t get how I could want to do something as creepy as online dating, though.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Boy, I’ve not forayed into my organic bad stories yet, but online dating has been a cesspool of bad dates. OK so there have been a few good ones, regardless if the thing turned out to be a relationship or not, but why blog the good ones, when the bad ones are sooo much funnier 😀 I think we all online date to find someone without having to put ourselves out for real reaction. virtual is easier.

    Liked by 2 people

    • At this point I may try it, but I am not crazy about hanging around bars every weekend to try it. Agreed fully on virtual being easier, at least initially for setting things up – not so sure about the rest though. I am living proof of that…


  3. lol yeah bad wingmen are the worst!! One time a friend totally missed the fact that I was trying to get away from this one guy who kept trying to get me to go into the bathroom with him to do some coke … yeah that was so NOT going to happen–but still could have gone a lot smoother if she’d caught the signal! haha

    Hope you let him know what was what later!

    Liked by 2 people

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