The (smoking hot) Smoker


During the latest eHarmony kick I was messaged by an interesting brunette – interesting photos, I mean, as I never read a single word on her profile.  Her pictures were delicious even if her written dialogue left a little to be desired.

After our online back and forth we agreed to chat on the phone and it went well so at the end of the call we set up our meet at a bar in her part of town.

I got there 10 minutes early before getting her text “I am here” – and I replied “So am I, let’s meet in front of the place”

A minute later I was confronted by a true vixen – this girl oozed sex appeal, by far the hottest one yet, so hot that it knocked me off my game and sent me into “omg omg omg” mode.  We were seated on the patio and she managed to turn every-single-guys-head that we walked past, she was that kinda hot – and honestly a level of hotness I’ve avoided, or at least tried to, on this dating  journey.  I don’t want a show car, I just want something good-looking and reliable!

Regardless, I was obviously pulled into her sinister eyes and I was all in.

Remember at the beginning I said I never read her profile?  Yeah, that became quite apparent when she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit up – “You don’t mind if I smoke do you?” – “No I don’t mind, I quit back in November”.  This made her second guess lighting up, but I assured her it was ok, even though up until that point I had never met a smoker and really wasn’t planning on it, I even have the setting on the dating site set to NO in regards to smokers, but somehow she had fallen through the cracks, and I wasn’t about to complain!

Looks aside, there were some problems though – she informed me that she had just gotten out of an 8 year relationship 6-months prior and I don’t care who you are, you aren’t over an 8-year relationship in just 6 months.  This came through in droves by reading her body language and how she mentioned the pain and fights they had.  This then slid into long-standing issues she had with her parents.  Somewhere along the line they never taught her how to ride a bicycle, oops.  Camping, traveling, skiing and just about everything else was left alone too – from here the “date” began turning into a therapy session involving her telling me the issue and me trying to reason with her on why it had happened and what she can do to fix it.

“Don’t think of it as all the things you haven’t done – think of all the fun that lies ahead”

“Change the situations and the results will bring happiness”

Stuff like that.

We had met at 8pm and by 11:30 we were both tired, her beginning work at 6:30am (date was on a Monday) so I got the bill and we headed into the parking lot.  For whatever reason I blurted out “well I am parked over there” (not walking her to her car like I should have) and she turned around, came in for a very close hug and kissed me on the cheek, and I returned the same.

As I drove home I was indeed charged by her epic levels of beauty but after a couple of days the feelings began to wane due to her other obvious problems that needed to be taken care of (by her).  Although I indulged all of this to a close friend he agreed that she likely wasn’t over the ex but that she would be a prime candidate to have a little fun in the sack with – him basically saying that was probably all she was looking for, and maybe be taught how to ride a bike between sessions.

I agreed.

I sent her a note on the dating site 5 days after we had met, saying we could meet up for a coffee and a walk / chat.  A couple of days later I saw that she had visited my profile again, but got no response to my message – oh well!

‘Til next time


4 thoughts on “The (smoking hot) Smoker

  1. “I don’t care who you are, you aren’t over an 8-year relationship in just 6 months”

    Ugh. Thank you. I just had a man on Tinder message me, immediately asking about my last relationship. He told me he’d ended a 6 year relationship at “the first of the year” (January or March?) and that he’d dated some since, but “nothing stuck.” So, you haven’t been single AT ALL and have been looking for a serious relationship the whole time? No.


    • Depending how “involved” they were it can take years to get over. In these cases they were just seeking rebounds until they ARE over it and then they start looking again, whether they’re in a “relationship” or not.


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