And Thats Why You’re Single Baby…


Another day, another Eharmony candidate – another “wild card” if you will.  This one and I had been tossing BS banter back and forth for a couple of weeks and she was one of the ones that fell into “mystery woman” territory – and I love a good mystery.

One picture, far away, with big black sunglasses covering half her face – kneeling down, half hiding behind someones kid, but she was thin.

I am game.

Messaging was light, texting was light and I barely even knew what she looked like.

“Ok, meet you at 8pm on Wednesday”

She got to the spot first and sent me a text “ask for S when you get here, I am already seated” – Oh great.  I arrived 5 minutes later and walked in, a quick glance didn’t show any girls sitting alone from what I could see, so I squeamishly asked the male hostess ” I am looking for my friend S”

-Right this way sir, have you been to this location before?-

“No” – as I am watching like a hawk for my prize..

Then we rounded the corner and there she was.  Diamond earrings, tight black / lace dress, make-up – the whole bit.  Keep in mind I am in jeans, an un-tucked button-down and black Lacoste shoes.  Not on par with this tanned, black haired, red lipstick wearing rocket in her little black dress.

Awkwardness wasn’t an issue though, yet.

This chick had been single for 2-3 years, she’d traveled alone all over the world (her preference), worked downtown and was pretty much – as I’d soon find out – set in her ways and very stubborn.

We’d both already eaten, but I asked if she’d like to split an appetizer or something “No, I can go right to desert” before she ordered a big piece of chocolate cake covered in whip cream and various vanilla and chocolate sauces.

I ordered a beer – knowing full well it was unlikely I was going to want to see this one again after hearing her tales of abandoning various friends and family on trips after they wanted to take a shower lasting longer than 5 minutes, or asking to bypass the bush toilet in favor of one at a restaurant down the street.

“They just don’t understand that it’s my vacation too, and I am not waiting around on their bullshit”

These stories came in tidal waves, essentially equating to “me me me me me me me me me me” as she was scarfing down chocolate cake.

I was truly mesmerized by her antics, this girl truly didn’t care what I thought and if I may project for a second it may have even been a test.  I didn’t care to really know though.  She had told me of a job interview she’d recently had and as we exited the establishment and approached the parking lot we said our farewells before I went in for a quick hug and said “Good luck with that job interview eh”

As I turned and went for my car..

These mysteries aren’t ever as fun as I anticipate


One thought on “And Thats Why You’re Single Baby…

  1. I have a girlfriend just like that. 100%. It’s always all about her.. I can only handle her in small doses.. But she’s 27 and also still has her V card as well. So besides everything being always about her she can’t figure out why after a few dates they aren’t interested anymore… Mmm I wonder.

    Liked by 1 person

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