What I’ve Learned From Over 35 Online Dates In 6 Months

dating in your 30's

Back when I started online dating I never figured I’d meet so many women, but I have and my goal was to at least try to learn something from it – as it was always in the back of my mind that I probably wouldn’t find a girlfriend from it, so what have I learned?

Some basics of course, online dating sites are literally meat markets and you’re always looking for someone better than who you may even be communicating with at the time.  You may be into the person you’re conversing with, but you’re going to have your feelers out for something better – this goes for both sexes.  The thing I learned is that there never was anyone better, but many that were indeed worse!  After learning this (the hard way) I would only focus on that person, but my stip was that it was one from each dating site.  Girl from Match would see that I hadn’t been online in 3+ days, but meanwhile I was trolling eHarmony, or vice versa, and texting up to 4-5 girls at the same time at various stages of the meet and greet process.

Another important thing is that the person you met online will never be the person you meet in-person.  This is a fact.  Once you can get your head wrapped around that you’ll naturally become open to meeting people who may not have formerly met your online dating standards.  For me, if the picture was good and they had their acts together I’d usually meet them and many times I was pleasantly surprised with whom I was sitting there having a date with.  Some people just can’t digitally express themselves in the same light that they do in real life, or even on the phone.

Of course this backfired in spectacular fashion more than a few times, but that’s ultimately the risks we take when essentially meeting strangers from the internet.

Another important lesson I learned the hard way is that online dating sites are literally filled with people on the re-bound – always ask when their last relationship was before bothering to meet.  Many I asked had just gotten out of long-term relationships less than 3 months prior – and I do not believe anyone is over their ex in such a short period of time.  I’ve even done this in the past!  After the date (which only made me miss my ex even more) I realized I had to take time for myself and I deleted the dating profile.

One more thing is to meet your dates sooner than later and keep chit-chat to a minimum before hand.  If you do this, you’ll actually be meeting a new interesting and attractive person (if their pics are legit) versus “dealing with” someone you’ve just spent 2-3 weeks talking with that isn’t measuring up to what you had envisioned.  It’s really that simple, one or the other – choose to meet the new person that you don’t know much about instead!  The less we knew about each other the better the date was, even if it led nowhere.

Til next time’

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned From Over 35 Online Dates In 6 Months

  1. I can relate to what you have gone through. I’m 31 now, and since my twenties I’ve probably gone on nearly 40 dates with women I met online. Only 3 of them turned into relationships, including my current gf.

    The 2 things I noticed about most women I’ve met from the internet.

    1. Most of them don’t look as good as their pictures. Some are WAY off, especially in terms of their weight. I’d say nearly half the girls I met, looked really cute in their pics, but when I went to meet them, a gigantic whale showed up, rather that the woman I expected from the pictures.

    2. The ones that are actually good looking in person, typically have other major issues. They are usually either a single mom (I actually went on a couple of dates with one until she confessed that her baby’s daddy, just got out of prison from trying to run over a previous boyfriend) some are “recovering” from a drug/drinking problem, some are bi-polar or have some other behavioral condition, nearly all of them are rebounding from a relationship they just got out of.

    Liked by 1 person

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