The Shape Shifter

30s dating

This was the first date back in action, we met on Match.  Her pics were good, she seemed really cool and after about a week of messaging we decided to meet up.

I drove over to her area on a Friday evening and awaited her arrival at the coffee joint.  This was actually the first time I’d arrived early and had to order for myself.  After about 10 minutes she showed – pretty face, but bigger hips and thighs than I had been expecting.  I like curves, but not chubby, pudgy, stocky, “a few extra pounds” or whatever else you might call it.  I am a slender guy myself, so this is just natural.  I am not looking to be like Kermit and Ms Piggy here either…

Anyways, I figured we’d have a coffee, probably grab a beer and that would be it.

We went to bar #1 which was way too loud and busy, so I asked if there were any around where we could play pool or video games.  There was, right across the street.

Drink, drinks…..more drinks

We’re making out in the middle of the semi-empty bar, like idiots.

I suggest going back to my car, we do.  More making out ensues, then we go into the back seat…no sex, but pretty much.  If you know what I mean.

Now I walk her back to her car “Are you going to at least ask me for my number” -oops, all the previous convo had been on the site alone.  So I do.

We text a few more times during the week and we decide to meet up again the next Friday.

I pull up to her place to pick her up, she invites me in, I go inside.

BAM!

Who the F&%^* is this???

She looked way bigger, shapeless, way less stylish, not sexy at all and overall just…. Tired.

I mentally check-out right then – but we still went on our planned dinner date, which was quick and filled with awkward silences.  We then stopped at a bar for beer – not even that helped.

Oddly enough I think our female waitress had even figured it out, because when my date went to the washroom I motioned her to bring me the bill and the debit machine.  She brought that thing over quicker than a lightning bolt and quickly entered everything, while constantly looking over at the washroom door – almost like I was going to pay and then try for a hasty escape!  Ha!

No, I am not that shallow.

Then as I pull up to her place she invites me in for a beer, followed with “but you don’t have to”

I go in and she gives me a beer, before she curled up on the couch, certainly expecting part 2 of what went down on the back seat of the car.

Me to myself: I can’t do this.

I briefly explain to her that I am tired and should just hit the road – and I did after extremely awkward small talk while putting on my shoes and jacket.

Haven’t heard from her since, I am sure she got the message.

On another note I have a half dozen others already lined up, so we should have some decent content coming up.

Enjoy!

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Online Dating – Part 2

30's dating

30’s dating

Yes, I am back – reluctantly.

The last fling fizzled out after just a few months – the initial appeal worked into  “Uhhh we have zero in common, and uhh, you’re a needy mo-fo” (I said it, not her….really)

So yes, I fired up the dating sites again, but this time more experienced, and with less time as I have a new job that simply dictates such.

Same action thus far on the sites, but I am far pickier – I really have no time to wine and dine anyone that doesn’t dazzle me with either looks or wit first.  And those wits and looks better turn into real intellect or some other form of attraction that initiates me to blow a Friday or Saturday evening on a meet-up.

Stay tuned – this might get good