The Shape Shifter

30s dating

This was the first date back in action, we met on Match.  Her pics were good, she seemed really cool and after about a week of messaging we decided to meet up.

I drove over to her area on a Friday evening and awaited her arrival at the coffee joint.  This was actually the first time I’d arrived early and had to order for myself.  After about 10 minutes she showed – pretty face, but bigger hips and thighs than I had been expecting.  I like curves, but not chubby, pudgy, stocky, “a few extra pounds” or whatever else you might call it.  I am a slender guy myself, so this is just natural.  I am not looking to be like Kermit and Ms Piggy here either…

Anyways, I figured we’d have a coffee, probably grab a beer and that would be it.

We went to bar #1 which was way too loud and busy, so I asked if there were any around where we could play pool or video games.  There was, right across the street.

Drink, drinks…..more drinks

We’re making out in the middle of the semi-empty bar, like idiots.

I suggest going back to my car, we do.  More making out ensues, then we go into the back seat…no sex, but pretty much.  If you know what I mean.

Now I walk her back to her car “Are you going to at least ask me for my number” -oops, all the previous convo had been on the site alone.  So I do.

We text a few more times during the week and we decide to meet up again the next Friday.

I pull up to her place to pick her up, she invites me in, I go inside.


Who the F&%^* is this???

She looked way bigger, shapeless, way less stylish, not sexy at all and overall just…. Tired.

I mentally check-out right then – but we still went on our planned dinner date, which was quick and filled with awkward silences.  We then stopped at a bar for beer – not even that helped.

Oddly enough I think our female waitress had even figured it out, because when my date went to the washroom I motioned her to bring me the bill and the debit machine.  She brought that thing over quicker than a lightning bolt and quickly entered everything, while constantly looking over at the washroom door – almost like I was going to pay and then try for a hasty escape!  Ha!

No, I am not that shallow.

Then as I pull up to her place she invites me in for a beer, followed with “but you don’t have to”

I go in and she gives me a beer, before she curled up on the couch, certainly expecting part 2 of what went down on the back seat of the car.

Me to myself: I can’t do this.

I briefly explain to her that I am tired and should just hit the road – and I did after extremely awkward small talk while putting on my shoes and jacket.

Haven’t heard from her since, I am sure she got the message.

On another note I have a half dozen others already lined up, so we should have some decent content coming up.



5 thoughts on “The Shape Shifter

  1. I can relate to this one. It happened to me a long time ago. Long story-Short: I met a girl from the internet (we decided to meet at starbucks). She was a bit cubbier than her pics, but still cute, not fat, pretty face, nice girl. We got along fine, went next door for pizza and then went for a walk. She was already talking about how much she liked me and wanted me to be her boyfriend by the end of the date. I was interested but didn’t respond about that.

    The next date I pick her up at her house, she still lived with her parents. (We were both in our 20s at the time). She answers the door with no make up, and an ugly looking sweater. She looked bigger too, like she put on 15 pounds within the few days. I was not attracted anymore at all. She introduced me to her parents(as if I was her boyfriend), I still went to the movies with her. The whole date was incredibly awkward. She was trying to get me to kiss her, but I wouldn’t do it.

    I called her afterwards to let her know it’s not going to work out, and she was angry.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I always appreciate your honesty (haven’t looked at this website in a long time, but glad you’re back in the ‘game’!), but after reading this post, man…I would definitely like to hear it from the woman’s perspective. It seems like you’ve become a total a**hole. I don’t know if it’s from being jaded or what, but I take offense with you saying “it’s natural” that because you are slim that you don’t like a “chubby” girl. What is “natural” about that? People can only be attracted to those with the same body size/features as themselves? Please. In many places, a well-fed woman is seen as a sign of prosperity and held as the ideal of attractiveness, so please. I know this blog is about your experiences alone, but think it would be much more satisfying/illuminating if we could get your dates’ perspectives as well. Something to think about. Anyways, good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rois, I appreciate your feedback and understand how you could think that. I LOOOOVE curvy girls, so please don’t think I am just after some bone-rack with a pretty face, FAR from it. I guess the underlining point of this post was to make clear that we get so caught up on being accepted by the other person during the first date that we overlook many things.

      Once we are accepted and a second date it granted, it becomes more real and now we play for keeps. I just had a 2nd date yesterday with another curvy cutie (proper curvy = round booty, big boobs, small waist) and there wont be a 3rd because I saw her more as a friend than as a lover by the end of it (and from her body language, I assume she was on the same page as I)

      Am I more of an asshole this time around? I don’t think so, I certainly pick and choose my dates and don’t fire from the hip like last time around. Keep in mind we’re approaching 50 women met here, and behavioral patterns are becoming apparent so I can scratch lots before wasting (both of our) time meeting.

      Their perspective??? Oh my – that would be soul crushing I am sure. I dread the day I find a similar blog written by one of them!

      Liked by 2 people

      • I do believe you’ve seen mine, It’s more written like yours, and less like one of the girls in question however. (at least the first entries, it’s been a long time since I’ve been out)


  3. Rois, if I may add something. There is a difference between curves and folds.

    Curvy (and even chubby) girls can be cute, but when they become obese, that’s a problem. I don’t think I’m an “a**hole” just because I’m attracted to women at (at least) a somewhat heathly weight.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s