Are You Kidding Me?

30s-dating

Are you kidding me?  Those were the exact words out of my friends mouth after letting him know that hot blonde had just bailed, and for the peculiar reason why.

Let me tell you all about it.

First of all, sorry for the lapse in posts, I have been dating all this time, but if it sucks or goes nowhere fast I just move onto the next and don’t bother writing about it – but this one warrants it.  I had sent her a quick note and she replied with extreme enthusiasm the day after.   This girl was genuinely enthused to be conversing with me and made all the right moves.  After a couple of days of messaging back and forth, I went for the date.  We’d meet at a nice lounge in her area for tapas and drinks, wonderful.

We met in the parking lot, and she was drop dead gorgeous.  Smiling with her hand out as I walked up to her, she quickly changed her mind and said “I am giving you a hug” and we held each other tightly before heading inside.  We spent the next 4 hours gazing happily into each others eyes and asking all the first date questions, near the end, she asked if I would be interested in seeing her again soon, which I of course obliged.  She was like, “you hadn’t asked yet, so I figured I would seeing as we are having such a great time here”.  Turns out we went to the same college over the same period of time, and then later lived in the same part of the city afterwards.

We chose a date a few days later to meet up again, I  told her I would do some research and come up with something fun to do as we prepared to leave the establishment.  We had a nice 10 minute make-out session beside her car before each heading our separate ways for the night.

This, here, is what you call hitting the dating lottery.

We exchanged a couple of texts each day between, textbook, before I was once again awaiting her arrival for date number two.  She pulled up, looking hot as ever, and we started making out again, passionately, on the busy sidewalk.

Then we entered the fine dining establishment which was packed to the gills and literally standing room only – I had not made a reservation either, but had a back up plan if need be.  Then the hostess greets us and says it is very busy, would you like to sit in the private dining room – yes – a completely packed restaurant and we got the VIP treatment.  We were sat in a small private room all by ourselves, where we continued on from before with wine and amazing food.  After this we went to a sports bar for bowling, pool and more drinks – making out seemingly every 10 minutes, with no care who was watching us.  She had insisted on paying for everything since date one, and at this point I let her cover the bowling, beers and pool.

During this date we made two more dates, #3 would be at my place a few days later.  I would cook her dinner and she would bring the wine.  #4 would be at her place.

On date night she arrived looking sexier than ever and I cooked her a nice dinner, we chatted between making out on the couch and enjoying the wine.  During this date she asked to move our next meeting, which would be at her place, a day ahead from Sunday to Saturday, because up to this point all of our meetings had been on work nights, so the move to Saturday meant we could chill at her place longer and not have to worry about getting up early the next day, even better.

She had to go get her dog an hour away which had been up at her parents place for the week and also said one of her close girlfriends had “news” for her and she could only tell her in person.  I thought nothing of it, maybe someone was having a baby, who knows.

Now some back info, she had been with her ex for 13 years, and they “mutually” broke up 2 years ago, she was just now entering the dating scene.  She had told me she had no interest in “multi-dating” ( I am sure fishing to see if she was the only one I had been currently seeing, which she was, after dates like these I’d have to be stupid to even bother with anyone else) and that she would also like to just take things slow, which I agreed, I love a good build up to wild sex.

She left my place that night and I got a text from her when she arrived home safely.  The next text I would get was over 24 hours later, asking me if I was going to be around for a phone call.  Earlier that day my gut started with all the warning signs, but I couldn’t fathom why?

We get on the phone and she is clearly rattled, apparently the news her friend had for her was that her ex had just got engaged.  And because of this she was all messed up and it wouldn’t be fair to me.  Her 15-year-old cat had died the night before our second date, their cat, and when she called to tell him he mentioned nothing about the engagement.

I told her I understood and that I was appreciative of her honesty from the beginning, and that when she was feeling better she could give me a call.  She broke into tears as we ended the call.

My god – this shit is getting old.

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7 thoughts on “Are You Kidding Me?

  1. Oh the cats, the cats..
    I’ve had cats. My cats have died. It NEVER interfered with a potential love interest.
    Think of it as dodging a bullet. Clearly she hasn’t moved on emotionally from her ex and yes, a pet’s death is so difficult, but to forgo a potential relationship? Bah.

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  2. Isn’t it so much fun to meet people on dating websites who aren’t actually looking to date?? The whole ex thing is rather annoying if you ask me. And in that situation, what exactly would her not dating anyone achieve? The guy got engaged so he is no longer an option – more reason than ever to spend a weekend drinking away your feelings and then try to get excited about your potential new love interest. She clearly had other things going on and quite possibly is the type of girl who would prefer to just feel sorry for herself and dwell instead of trying to move forward. Maybe when she gets her shit together you’ll hear from her again…

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      • I would tell you to please give her another chance (if she contacts you again), but I’ve been through a similar situation with a girl I met online a long time ago. She was attractive, sexy, awesome and very into me(or that’s what I thought), we talked about taking the next step from dating & making out, to a relationship. All of a sudden she starts cancelling plans and flaking due to ex-drama. About 3 months later she contacted me again and we went through the same cycle, but then she went back to her ex because she still had feelings for him.

        Alot of your stories remind me of what I went through with online dating, which makes me wonder about women on dating sites. Seems like just about all of them don’t have it together and are very unreliable.

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      • You are right and I’d even run into before on a lesser scale. Online dating is just so easy to log onto and use as a crutch to try and get over an ex, I guess. I didn’t put it in the post, but on the first date she even mentioned the ex, and the eye-brow raiser after she said “we ended it mutually, we agreed to give each other a heads up if we are bringing someone new to a function, as we still have a lot of the same friends”. Red flag sure, but it ended 2 years prior so I didn’t think much of it.

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  3. Pingback: Dating After Finally Understanding Women | 30's dater

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