Setting Your Dating Standards

Setting-Standards

Date anyone that shows interest and it’ll lead to disappointment.  Date anyone with a few weak stipulations added by yourself over time, and it’ll still lead to disappointment.

Deep down you know what it is that you want  – and more importantly what you DON’T want.  So do this, grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  On the right put down what you want, and on the left put down what you will NOT put up with.

Don’t hold back either and go full detail – eye color, height, career, income, weight, body type, beliefs, personality type/traits, family values, education – whatever you want – this is where you reel in the knowledge learned from past relationships to do better in the future.

Get it all out and on paper – and then post it on your fridge, or somewhere where you will see it every. single. day.

Burn that shit into your brain – this is essential.

When you see one of these beings out in the wild or online you will make a conscious effort to get yourself in front of them, because they are rare and special.

We are of a generation that has the most choice and selection for a wife or husband than ever before  due to technology- embrace it and be smart about it.

To get what you want and know you deserve is your birthright, go get it.

Quit Treating Your Date Like She’s Already Your Girlfriend

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I recently read about a guy seeking “help” after his first date with a girl went completely sideways.  This moron, for lack of better term, took the girl to the mall and had 12 children each walk up to her and hand her a red rose – from him.

Yeah.

And he was wondering why she bolted to the hills and blocked his number.  And while this is clearly an extreme case of said epidemic, guys fall into this trap all too often.  Not just with actions either, it’s usually words that will cause the lady to run away – most times before even meeting.  Ever had a girl cancel your date 10 minutes before, because her brothers, best friends sisters rabbit got sick?

Then you have fallen into the trap – and its all you buddy.

To go on 1, 2 or 8 initial dates with someone new is really no different from when you met your best friend.  Did you tell them they were your best friend, buy them a gift and then blow up their phone all before they had a chance to get home right after you first met?  If you did then they aren’t your best friend – that person would have a restraining order on you.

Understand that women are emotional beings, while we idiots are visual.

Too deep?  Ok.

Women are crock pots, men are microwaves – make sense?  They need time for their feelings to develop.  This is where the old “wait 3 days until after the date to call her” came from in order to let her feelings develop.   The other benefit of this, is that all beings look back after time with less than perfect vision – tending to remember the good, and not the bad.  That’s where the “no contact rule” after a break up came from – and they both exist because they work. 

Thinking that you need to “do something” during these periods is to dig your own grave.  Why would a successful guy that has tons of options really care that much anyways?

Notice how the girls you don’t like chase you, but the ones you do like run away?  This is why – it’s because you are treating them differently.   The other example is men are like dogs and women are like cats – what does a cat do if you make sudden actions around them?  They run.  Now what does a cat do in which you ignore – it hops into your lap and starts to purr.

So meet to get to know her and have fun, ask questions, show interest, kiss her on the lips and then take a breather before running her off.

 

 

Another Test – The Old Fashion Way

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A friend and I recently went out for wings and ended up with a little cutie of a waitress.  My buddy was naturally being witty and fun with her to the point she said our antics had been the highlight of her day – so the writing was on the wall.

This wasn’t about me though, my buddy has had a long-standing negative self-image of himself, so much as stating “girls don’t like me”.  Being overweight and bald might not help his thoughts in this department and I knew what could literally be a life changing experiment right here, so I started to set it up.

“Dude, this chick likes you, do what I say and I guarantee she’ll give you her number”

I was hit back with laughter and a crazy look  along with “there’s no way in hell that little rocket is going to give me her number”

He, 35, her 23 and was one of those chicks that posts pics of her perfectly shaped ass all over instagram and gets eleventy billion likes – one of those gym bunny chicks with a succulent body.

He wasn’t going to do it until I bet him $20 that she would indeed give him her number, he, as a safety net, agreed to the bet and called it a “social experiment”

It was on – all he had to say the next time she came to our table:

“Hey xxxxxx I think you are super cool and extremely gorgeous, how about you give me your number so I can take you out sometime”

She came to the table, he said it, and you could tell she had never been hit with such a confident pick up ever, and as I knew, pulled out a pen and wrote down her number for him.  As she was doing this I looked at him and he had the biggest look of shock on his face…..

We paid and collected ourselves out on the sidewalk – he was ecstatic, disbelief.  All those years seeing women give the signs but either not acting on them, or acting wrongly about them smacked him in the face all in a few minutes.  This wasn’t an easy scenario either.  Hot waitresses get hit on all day at their jobs, so their guards are up (much like a group of women at a club) as opposed to a setting with no guard, like a grocery store or mall etc.

I am sure this had been the biggest shot of confidence he’d experienced in years.   I told him how to handle the texting (don’t) and wait 3 days before setting up the date – let her feelings bake for a few days.  This worked wonders, you should see some of the pictures she was sending him of herself (!!!).

So that is all, for now.  Oh and I told him I didn’t want the $20, use it on his date with her.

eHarmony Review

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Seeing as I’ve been doing this for over a year, I have lots of in-depth experience with a few of the more popular dating sites.  Here are my thoughts on eHarmony:

eHarmony Review

This site is the worst of the bunch.  You get new matches everyday, but 80-90% of them are “members” that haven’t been active on the site for months or years.  When your subscription lapses they continue shopping your profile to paying members, without you even knowing it.  There is a case I read about recently, where an older woman was on the site and met a man years before – they met and eventually married.  Then a few years later the man died.  A couple more years went by and she made a new eHarmony account – guess who was one of her first matches they suggested to her?  Yup – her dead husbands profile from years before.

They use to have a feature to show last activity on profiles you were interested in and 90% always said “active over a month ago” so you didn’t waste time sending messages to dead profiles.  Fair, I guess, until they removed it and now you have no clue who’s active and who isn’t.

The way they have the subscription settings is also very scammy.  They make you think you are turning your profile off when you switch the setting to not automatically renew and charge your credit card when your subscription runs out, and if this is not turned off, you will be charged and they will not refund your money.  Supposedly you have 72 hour grace period where they will refund your money if (not if, when) this happens, but even though I called the day it happened to me, they still did not refund my money.  If you do a search, you will find hundreds of people that have been caught in this eHarmony scam.

This what you get for turning off the setting that wants to automatically renew your subscription when it runs out - scam!

This is what you get for turning off the setting that wants to automatically renew your subscription when it runs out – yes, you can still send and receive messages with it off – scam!

To properly delete your eHarmony account you have to first go into settings > account settings > billing > then click deactivate account.  This will not physically deactivate your profile if you are still subscribed, it just makes it so your credit card doesn’t get an unwanted ding for $161.00 (my case) .

If you want your profile completely erased, do the above, then delete all pictures, then using the same e-mail account that you signed up with, send an e-mail to deletemyinfo@eharmony.com

Its pretty obvious eharmony is circling the drain so do yourself a favor and go with another option, from my experience Match is by far the best one out there but that may vary depending on your particular age, sex and location.  Most pay sites will let you see what they are like before paying to send and receive messages, so do that first and good luck!

 

Dating After Finally Understanding Women

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A few months ago I raised a white flag and officially went looking for dating help.  I’d been on 40-something dates and had very little to show for it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while seeking different results, so yeah, I was technically insane and it was time to do something about it.

I went looking for videos and articles made by dating coaches and found a wealth of information about female attraction characteristics.  Lets just say after months of studying and research I can barely go back and read my old posts due to how poorly I had been going about it.  I will get into what I learned another time, but right now I’d like to share some of my results from 5 dates after learning this incredibly powerful information.  Keep in mind, before this I rarely could ever get a 2nd date if I did like the chick, but even wanting a 2nd date was rare because I really had no idea what I wanted.

Girl #1

She pulled into the parking lot in her black Mercedes, we were meeting for a coffee and I was excited to try what I had learned.  Around two hours later we were back in the parking lot and she’s throwing second date ideas at me like confetti.  I should have gone for the kiss (a first date must), but honestly I wasn’t really feeling it and decided there I wasn’t going to be seeing her again.  After 4 days of silence on my behalf, she sent me a text asking if I was interested in seeing her again.  Hmmm…  Maybe I am onto something here, but I need to test this out on more women to be certain.

Girl #2 

I picked her up at her place, and we’d drive to a coffee shop for the date.  In line she was standing very close to me, bumping into me and touching – all good signs.  When seated she was leaning forward, listening carefully and playing with her hair non-stop.  Then she was seated in her chair sideways with her legs over the armrest, showing she was comfortable.  When we pulled back up to her place there were a couple of solicitors knocking at her door, and when they finally headed down the sidewalk she said she had a great time and hopped out and gave me a big wave as I drove away.  No kiss, rookie mistake, but all the signs were there.  I waited 3-4 days and sent her a text asking when she’d like to get together again and I got something back along the lines of “we can’t see each other again”.  A dating expert would say this was because I didn’t go for the kiss, its important because it shows I am interested, and if you get the cheek, you walk and not waste anymore time.  Cheek means she isn’t into you, or has some silly rule about only doing certain things after a certain amount of dates / time – a structured robot, no thanks.

Let me try this again…

Girl #3

We met up at a bar and right off the bat she wasn’t who I thought I was originally meeting, this chick looked like she was the bartender at a biker bar.  However I couldn’t waste an opportunity to test my new skills.  After just 20 minutes she was suggesting 2nd date ideas in abundance.  When was I going to be in her part of town next, if we can work out together at the gym in my condo building, other neat places to grab a drink and so forth.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad.  But I wouldn’t be seeing her again regardless.

Girl #4

You can read about this one in the post below called Are You Kidding Me whom bailed on me after 3 good dates due to ex drama.  On the first date she asked for a 2nd halfway through and on the 2nd asked for a 3rd and 4th.

Girl #5

We met at a pub, she also suggested multiple 2nd dates starting halfway through the date and right out into the parking lot as I gave her a peck on the cheek before she hopped into her car.  This one came across as not genuine enough, almost like she was reading a script or something, and after I’d tell her something, even mundane, it would be followed by her going “wow, incredible, wow, amazing” over, and over and over.  I won’t be seeing this one again either.

The first thing I can tell you is stop watching modern romantic movies and thinking that’s how you are supposed to court women, it’s the exact opposite!  The people who make that garbage clearly know nothing about women and its been confusing men for decades.  These movies preach how to scare a woman away, while movies made in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s actually had it right where the man was a man, and the women did what they had to do to grab said mans attention and attraction.

Yes, women are supposed to chase men after the man facilitates it – not the other way around.

3 more tests coming right up