Quit Treating Your Date Like She’s Already Your Girlfriend

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I recently read about a guy seeking “help” after his first date with a girl went completely sideways.  This moron, for lack of better term, took the girl to the mall and had 12 children each walk up to her and hand her a red rose – from him.

Yeah.

And he was wondering why she bolted to the hills and blocked his number.  And while this is clearly an extreme case of said epidemic, guys fall into this trap all too often.  Not just with actions either, it’s usually words that will cause the lady to run away – most times before even meeting.  Ever had a girl cancel your date 10 minutes before, because her brothers, best friends sisters rabbit got sick?

Then you have fallen into the trap – and its all you buddy.

To go on 1, 2 or 8 initial dates with someone new is really no different from when you met your best friend.  Did you tell them they were your best friend, buy them a gift and then blow up their phone all before they had a chance to get home right after you first met?  If you did then they aren’t your best friend – that person would have a restraining order on you.

Understand that women are emotional beings, while we idiots are visual.

Too deep?  Ok.

Women are crock pots, men are microwaves – make sense?  They need time for their feelings to develop.  This is where the old “wait 3 days until after the date to call her” came from in order to let her feelings develop.   The other benefit of this, is that all beings look back after time with less than perfect vision – tending to remember the good, and not the bad.  That’s where the “no contact rule” after a break up came from – and they both exist because they work. 

Thinking that you need to “do something” during these periods is to dig your own grave.  Why would a successful guy that has tons of options really care that much anyways?

Notice how the girls you don’t like chase you, but the ones you do like run away?  This is why – it’s because you are treating them differently.   The other example is men are like dogs and women are like cats – what does a cat do if you make sudden actions around them?  They run.  Now what does a cat do in which you ignore – it hops into your lap and starts to purr.

So meet to get to know her and have fun, ask questions, show interest, kiss her on the lips and then take a breather before running her off.

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Quit Treating Your Date Like She’s Already Your Girlfriend

  1. Ha-ha. Although I’ve never been compared to a crockpot before, I quite like it.

    I think this is advice that is applicable for both men and women. Oftentimes people step into first dates, loaded with expectations. Is this my soul mate? What will our kids look like?

    It’s important to take a breather and just let things unfold organically! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is applicable to both, but should only be applicable to women – its natural feminine behavior. The reason why MEN are now doing it is screwing up the entire system (reason for all this dating chaos and 50% divorce rate is nearly a line graph since mass feminism via pop culture since WW2 ended). A woman doesn’t want a man that acts like a woman – they are hard-wired to want a masculine man, which is gravely confused with “(masculine) bad boy” and why “(feminine men) nice guys finish last”.

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  2. I agree that women want a ‘masculine man’ but a different version of masculinity than before, they also want to be treated as individuals, it’s more complex than just saying all women want this and all men want that.
    Divorce rates have risen because the law now allows it more easily and because women now have options, they can work and earn money and manage how many children they have so they are no longer as dependent upon men for economic survival, (previously women couldn’t even take out a loan in their name and in many cases lost their job as soon as they were married). This means both men and women have to change the way they relate to each other (a man is now looking for a woman who wants to be with him not needs to be with him). I think both genders are confused how to makes this all work because it’s changed and there is no precedent but that doesn’t make it worse, just more complex. Good luck!

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    • You make sound points, and it’s certainly a complex situation. The point I make here is at the dating stage, too many men (apparently 97%!) are flat out acting like little girls and scaring women away, often before even meeting up or right after the 1st date. Mother nature did her job if you replied to his message or accepted a date. Attraction is there, its always the fem-guy that ruins it. Guys were not fem back in the day – it may not be the total reason for the 50% divorce rate and why we have such hard times understanding one anothers fundamentals but it cannot be denied.

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      • When a guy calls too much and treats me like his girlfriend too soon I agree, I run as fast as I can, but if I like him I do expect some enthusiasm, I guess it’s a fine line but if he doesn’t contact me for three days I feel like he’s not interested and I’ll start to look elsewhere.

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  3. If I had a really great date and then I didn’t hear from the guy for 3 days, I would think he was a total player and I would definitely be more inclined to run for the hills at this point. Agreed that we want masculinity, but a guy texting me, even right after our date, to say he had a great time is not at all a turn off, if anything it would make me feel great knowing that we were on the same page. In this day and age, if the date was remotely decent, I expect to hear from the guy the next day. I think the 3 day rule was more applicable before texting (and before us women knew about the rule haha). It would only be a turn off if a guy texted and called me nonstop and enthusiastically talked about our future children. Mystery and unavailability is a turn, but only in small doses. Eventually it just begins to feel like a game that I have no interest in playing.

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    • I agree if the date goes very well, 3 days is ignorant. If it was awesome I’d wait a day and half. Usually in that case though she has already texted me when she got home and I’ve texted back agreeing how great it was – then give it a day or so to make the next date. The 3 day wait is for when it wasn’t as spectacular – anyways, its all just designed to get the woman reaching out to the man, then the guy just sets up the next date. Nearly impossible to scare her away when she is persuing.

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  4. After all my dating experience, I’m so fed up with thrse little games, the 3 days’ rules. The iron has to be ebaten when it’s hot, we say in italy. More improtantly, i am so longing for spontaneity by now! All games imply too much thinking, and that’s rrarely a good thing.

    I would like to raise another poit here, that is connecyed: i would also appreciate it if guys could stop trating girls as girlfriedns when they have no intentions of getting into a relationship. (You can say 2i don’t want any commitment” as much as you want, but if then you want to see me twic e a week, have special attentions for me, cover me with sweet sentences, make plans together…how can i not think you are actually falling in love?)

    I love the photo!

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  5. Pingback: Busy, Flaky – Or Testing? | 30's dater

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