The Rebounder

Dating a rebounder

It’s fun when you’ve dated enough to know what’s going to happen, before it happens and when dealing with a rebounder it’s never going to end well.

We met on match – the dating site that automatically renewed me for 3 additional months, when I was planning on taking the summer off from this craziness.  I was free, until I saw my credit card bill.  Ugh.

It starts with a check-in every few days, then responding to messages – and before you know it, you are right back in online dating hell.

We began chatting and everything seemed ok, she was totally normal.  That all came crashing down though when her answer to my question of when her last relationship was came back as “4 months ago”.  Even that turned out to be exaggerated because she had just moved out of their place 2 months ago, where they had lived together for 7 years.

She assured me she was over him, but I am sorry – that is impossible.

I stayed in it because she kept on insisting on coming over to my place – but even I am not that crazy for a first date, so we met half way.  We met in the parking lot and on our way into the bar she put her arm around my waist.  I had known her 10 seconds.

There was also the previous texting, which was also a dead giveaway that I was dealing with a rebounder (in denial).

Rebounders are easy to spot because they are trying to pick-up right where they left off with their ex.  The good morning texts, the deep conversations and apparently the public displays of affection.

After we had a drink at the bar we decided to go for a walk along the waterfront – she was holding my hand within a few minutes.  Who in the hell holds hands on a first date?

There was also lots and lots of kissing – which I enjoyed, but I never truly committed any feelings for her because I knew of the impending collapse.  She had asked to come to my area so we made a date then and there for a few days later.  This was great for me, because it would mean lots of hot sweaty sex.  She texted me when she got home from the date, the next morning, afternoon and night.

However, the day before our date she had gone silent.  Her last message was something along the lines of “Heading back to work now, I’ll text you later xoxoxox”

The next day, nothing.

The day of I sent a simple text, fully knowing she had very likely gone rebounder awol.

“are you still coming?”

Now usually I would never send something like that, but I had another girl asking me if we could meet that night – a very hot girl, that wasn’t on the rebound – so I needed to know.

Nope, not even a response to that.

A day later her dating profile was deleted too.

I make this post for no other reason than to warn you out there – dating sites are clogged with rebounders doing nothing but wasting the time of people who are ready to date and find a relationship so always ask when their last relationship was.  If its been recent or if they have to keep bringing up their ex – they aren’t over them yet.  If they aren’t over them, they aren’t ready to date and its only a matter of time before they figure that out.





15 thoughts on “The Rebounder

    • Hmmm, I think you’re onto something Sunny! Stage 2 analyst would explain a lot!! I’d LOVE to see the percentage of actual willing and able singles there are among the bullshitters using online dating websites.

      Liked by 2 people

      • That would be great information, but because there are so many pathological liars out there, it would hard to analyze the data and practcally impossible to verify. But it would be interesting to keep tabs of your own personal encounters. I would say that out of 10 dates, 9 lied about one or more details before I gave up.


      • I am keeping tabs and trying to make sense of it all – you opened a can of worms – a legit ground breaker can. Of my last 10 dates, I’d say 3 were legit – which are pretty horrid numbers.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s awesome! I look forward to reading all about it.
        And here’s a funny twist–the ONE time I contacted a guy for a one night stand, a guy who was very clear on his profile that he did not want a relationship… Well, after one month we said, “Let’s not see anyone else.” And it’s been a year since then.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Exactly, but it does end for them once they realize they have to take time and heal a few dates in – whilst leaving you on the side of the road. And people think being used for sex is bad.. IMO rebounders are worse.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Very true. I’ve had my fair share of dates with rebounders. 9 times out of 10 they go back to their EX. However, very rarely, a rebounder can potentially turn into a relationship. My current girlfriend (I’ve been with for 2 years now), started with her on the rebound.

    Her previous relationship ended literally the day before she hooked up with me!! (and that one was also long term). She lied at first and told me that they broke up a year beforehand, but confessed the truth later. She also showed all the signs of a rebounder, would shut up about her ex, kissed and held hands with me right away. Sex very soon, etc. It was like she was trying desperately get over him fast. I thought for sure it would end up the same way as other rebounder flings Ive had, but, no. I’m still with her 2 years later. It’s crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

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