The Flight Attendant

30s dating

This one was a wild card, she had pictures on her profile of her laying on a beach in a skimpy bikini, labeled 2013, yet other photos on there as well where she clearly did not have that same 2013 beach body.  Her eH “can’t stands” was a man who was sex obsessed – yet later on in conversation she said someone to be intimate with was one of her main criteria.  Ok, I’ll roll the dice on what I thought for certain was a nympho.

Also side note – what’s with the groupings I’ve been dating?  Teachers, business women and now airline related chicks – weird.

Anyway, we never spoke on the phone but would usually text daily.  I was really quite standoffish on meeting this one, by now I know you always trust the worst picture and there was really just not much attraction.  Regardless during a text convo she was hinting so hard that I just had to set the date, which was last Friday.  I’d tour to her part of town.  Me thinking I would leave my car on her street and we’d just walk somewhere close.  Couple drinks, walk back, go home – simple.

So there I am, parked and I text “I am parked on the street” – she replies “pull up, you’re too far down” – then “do you want to come in for a bit”

Keep in mind she lived with 4 other women, so no, I wasn’t about to head into that court room – I hadn’t even seen her yet.  I politely declined.

So I pull up and there she is on the sidewalk wearing a skimpy black dress and she hops in my car.  Attraction, as I figured, was negligible but she wasn’t going to rely on her looks or her dress, oh no, she had her dress hiked up her thighs and I calmly told her “you look good” as she slithered around in her seat being as sexy as she could.  We tried going to a spot of her choosing but there was no parking, I got sick of driving around in circles and just said “can we just maybe go back to your area?”  As she agreed and apologized for the traffic, which clearly wasn’t her fault.

On the way back to her place she said I could park in her condos designated parking spot, and that none of her roommates were home for the night.

I can see where this is going…..

I then said I would have come in had I known she was there alone and we laughed about that as we walked over to a pub.  There we had 2-3 drinks and then I said maybe we could get out of there and go somewhere else, but since I was driving there would be no more boozing for me, and at this time she tells me she has to work in the morning, which she may have, but I am not so sure.

Anyway I steer us back towards her place and she started holding my hand, and then came onto me in full attack mode with lots of tongue, biting and lip sucking…

We got back to her place, continued doing what we were doing but when I’d try to steer us up the stairs she would put the brakes on.  “We have to save that for next time” –
“I am not sleeping with you on our first date”.

This did seem odd, even crazier was the fact she seemed to intentionally open the front and rear blinds to put our little make-out and groping show on for her neighbors.  And that’s all that would be happening, after my repeated attempts to seal the deal she was blatantly using sex as second date bait – but from the 5-minute mark, there wasn’t going to be any second date that involved me.  She probably knew that…

“til next time

 

 

 

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How to deal with dating rejection

30's dating stories

Blog #17

I’ve been on a lot of dates over the past few months and if I were just out there dating and not learning anything from it (or at least writing about my dates) I’d probably go crazy.

I’ve also chatted with many people about dating since starting this blog and the most popular aspect by far keeping most people away from dating is the inevitable rejection that comes along with it.

Rejection simply doesn’t bother me anymore, at least not as much as it used to and the following will explain why.

First things first if you are embarking on a journey of online dating you have to mentally replace the word “dating” with “meeting”.  Online dating isn’t like normal dating where you go out on a date with Sally from your gym or Mike that you met though a friend – not even close.

You’re meeting SweetyGirl434 that you sent a couple messages back and forth with and maybe spoke on the phone with once or twice.

You have built this person up in your mind to be what you want, and they have done the same for you – this happens and is the “leading cause” of what we call dating rejection but there is far more to it.  If you’ve read about my dates you’ll see how many times I met girls that looked nothing like their pictures so I rejected them, obviously, but that’s too easy, lets dig a little deeper.

I’ve also met ones that had great pictures and an even better write up, I anticipated their next email or text with outlandish enthusiasm because we got along so well – just to later meet her and deflate as fast as a punctured blimp.  Zero chemistry “not my type”.

Your easy out is obviously when you don’t jive with the other person that does jive with you, this is when you get to be the schmuck – congrats, but this is a two street and you will get run over.

Here’s the run down:

They like you, you don’t like them – Easiest

You don’t like them, they also don’t like you – A little sting

You like them, they don’t like you – Stinger

Let’s deal with the stinger!

How could they not like me?  We chatted about everything, we spoke on the phone for hours, I had 12 pictures up – what the hell is wrong!!!  Nothing.

Lets wind back to the part how online dating is really just meeting random people from the internet – are we to assume that we are going to have an emotional connection with such a vast number of the random public?

Oh but you had 14 pictures up, a witty write up that took you 2 minutes to write and you both like traveling, reading, watching movies and hanging with friends.

You do realize that everyone likes those same things…..right?

Online dating is essentially akin to walking through a shopping mall and pulling any random member of the opposite sex that you find attractive into a coffee shop and sitting down – now think of the numbers involved to find one that’s going to be compatible, on both sides, to really work out.

For some it only takes attraction – but generally people are done basing relationships on that somewhere in their 20’s.

Online dating is also a huge marketplace filled with able singles, for some it only takes one off putting thing from you to send them back to their computer where they can meet someone else in a few clicks.

Online dating is far from perfect, but the “rejection” from it really isn’t true “rejection” like getting fired from your job or dumped from your long term significant other.  People get rejected several times a day dealing with normal life things that we don’t even notice and online dating rejection shouldn’t be looked at any differently.