The Rebounder

Dating a rebounder

It’s fun when you’ve dated enough to know what’s going to happen, before it happens and when dealing with a rebounder it’s never going to end well.

We met on match – the dating site that automatically renewed me for 3 additional months, when I was planning on taking the summer off from this craziness.  I was free, until I saw my credit card bill.  Ugh.

It starts with a check-in every few days, then responding to messages – and before you know it, you are right back in online dating hell.

We began chatting and everything seemed ok, she was totally normal.  That all came crashing down though when her answer to my question of when her last relationship was came back as “4 months ago”.  Even that turned out to be exaggerated because she had just moved out of their place 2 months ago, where they had lived together for 7 years.

She assured me she was over him, but I am sorry – that is impossible.

I stayed in it because she kept on insisting on coming over to my place – but even I am not that crazy for a first date, so we met half way.  We met in the parking lot and on our way into the bar she put her arm around my waist.  I had known her 10 seconds.

There was also the previous texting, which was also a dead giveaway that I was dealing with a rebounder (in denial).

Rebounders are easy to spot because they are trying to pick-up right where they left off with their ex.  The good morning texts, the deep conversations and apparently the public displays of affection.

After we had a drink at the bar we decided to go for a walk along the waterfront – she was holding my hand within a few minutes.  Who in the hell holds hands on a first date?

There was also lots and lots of kissing – which I enjoyed, but I never truly committed any feelings for her because I knew of the impending collapse.  She had asked to come to my area so we made a date then and there for a few days later.  This was great for me, because it would mean lots of hot sweaty sex.  She texted me when she got home from the date, the next morning, afternoon and night.

However, the day before our date she had gone silent.  Her last message was something along the lines of “Heading back to work now, I’ll text you later xoxoxox”

The next day, nothing.

The day of I sent a simple text, fully knowing she had very likely gone rebounder awol.

“are you still coming?”

Now usually I would never send something like that, but I had another girl asking me if we could meet that night – a very hot girl, that wasn’t on the rebound – so I needed to know.

Nope, not even a response to that.

A day later her dating profile was deleted too.

I make this post for no other reason than to warn you out there – dating sites are clogged with rebounders doing nothing but wasting the time of people who are ready to date and find a relationship so always ask when their last relationship was.  If its been recent or if they have to keep bringing up their ex – they aren’t over them yet.  If they aren’t over them, they aren’t ready to date and its only a matter of time before they figure that out.

 

 

 

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The Brunette Part 1

fifty-shades-of-grey

I had a TV in front of me from my seating position, as did she from hers, we had been seated at a 4 seat table and rather than sit across from me, she sat beside me.  We were already one drink deep when out of the corner of my eye I caught something on the TV about 50 shades of grey – and it took 100% of her attention – “Sorry, wow, I just saw something about 50 shades” – I’d keep this in mind for later.

We met on Match, she checked all the boxes, slender but curvy, about 5’6″, very sexy, well-traveled, very accomplished, confident, no kids, senior manager, multiple houses – the whole bit.

From the second we locked eyes once entering the pub it was extremely intense and we never stopped talking.  I knew this was a good date – no matter how rare they are.

About 1.5 hours deep she got up to go to the washroom, and she strutted her ass so well that it caught the attention of an older married guy at the table beside us.  He gave me the look – the “I am saddened by how hot she is, and how into you she is, and I am sitting here with my wife, boring friends and kid that won’t sit still” look.

I fucking loved it.

She came back, I had already paid some time before, our drinks long finished but we just kept talking, then I had to call it a night.  We headed into the parking lot and I walked her to her car – then we hugged and began kissing – I put both of my arms around her lower back, sunk my right wrist in and pulled it in with my left, pulling her into me with force – we kissed more, and more – then we pulled away, me still holding her in and I told her “you look fucking amazing” she gasped and got weak in the knees, I held her up by her ass, we kissed some more – then she said “we have to do this again” and I agreed.

She just texted me this morning thanking me and saying she had a great time and we have set date #2 for next Friday, a late dinner…

 

Part 2 soon.

Dating After Finally Understanding Women

Girl-trying-to-keep-her-man

A few months ago I raised a white flag and officially went looking for dating help.  I’d been on 40-something dates and had very little to show for it.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while seeking different results, so yeah, I was technically insane and it was time to do something about it.

I went looking for videos and articles made by dating coaches and found a wealth of information about female attraction characteristics.  Lets just say after months of studying and research I can barely go back and read my old posts due to how poorly I had been going about it.  I will get into what I learned another time, but right now I’d like to share some of my results from 5 dates after learning this incredibly powerful information.  Keep in mind, before this I rarely could ever get a 2nd date if I did like the chick, but even wanting a 2nd date was rare because I really had no idea what I wanted.

Girl #1

She pulled into the parking lot in her black Mercedes, we were meeting for a coffee and I was excited to try what I had learned.  Around two hours later we were back in the parking lot and she’s throwing second date ideas at me like confetti.  I should have gone for the kiss (a first date must), but honestly I wasn’t really feeling it and decided there I wasn’t going to be seeing her again.  After 4 days of silence on my behalf, she sent me a text asking if I was interested in seeing her again.  Hmmm…  Maybe I am onto something here, but I need to test this out on more women to be certain.

Girl #2 

I picked her up at her place, and we’d drive to a coffee shop for the date.  In line she was standing very close to me, bumping into me and touching – all good signs.  When seated she was leaning forward, listening carefully and playing with her hair non-stop.  Then she was seated in her chair sideways with her legs over the armrest, showing she was comfortable.  When we pulled back up to her place there were a couple of solicitors knocking at her door, and when they finally headed down the sidewalk she said she had a great time and hopped out and gave me a big wave as I drove away.  No kiss, rookie mistake, but all the signs were there.  I waited 3-4 days and sent her a text asking when she’d like to get together again and I got something back along the lines of “we can’t see each other again”.  A dating expert would say this was because I didn’t go for the kiss, its important because it shows I am interested, and if you get the cheek, you walk and not waste anymore time.  Cheek means she isn’t into you, or has some silly rule about only doing certain things after a certain amount of dates / time – a structured robot, no thanks.

Let me try this again…

Girl #3

We met up at a bar and right off the bat she wasn’t who I thought I was originally meeting, this chick looked like she was the bartender at a biker bar.  However I couldn’t waste an opportunity to test my new skills.  After just 20 minutes she was suggesting 2nd date ideas in abundance.  When was I going to be in her part of town next, if we can work out together at the gym in my condo building, other neat places to grab a drink and so forth.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad.  But I wouldn’t be seeing her again regardless.

Girl #4

You can read about this one in the post below called Are You Kidding Me whom bailed on me after 3 good dates due to ex drama.  On the first date she asked for a 2nd halfway through and on the 2nd asked for a 3rd and 4th.

Girl #5

We met at a pub, she also suggested multiple 2nd dates starting halfway through the date and right out into the parking lot as I gave her a peck on the cheek before she hopped into her car.  This one came across as not genuine enough, almost like she was reading a script or something, and after I’d tell her something, even mundane, it would be followed by her going “wow, incredible, wow, amazing” over, and over and over.  I won’t be seeing this one again either.

The first thing I can tell you is stop watching modern romantic movies and thinking that’s how you are supposed to court women, it’s the exact opposite!  The people who make that garbage clearly know nothing about women and its been confusing men for decades.  These movies preach how to scare a woman away, while movies made in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s actually had it right where the man was a man, and the women did what they had to do to grab said mans attention and attraction.

Yes, women are supposed to chase men after the man facilitates it – not the other way around.

3 more tests coming right up

 

 

The Shape Shifter

30s dating

This was the first date back in action, we met on Match.  Her pics were good, she seemed really cool and after about a week of messaging we decided to meet up.

I drove over to her area on a Friday evening and awaited her arrival at the coffee joint.  This was actually the first time I’d arrived early and had to order for myself.  After about 10 minutes she showed – pretty face, but bigger hips and thighs than I had been expecting.  I like curves, but not chubby, pudgy, stocky, “a few extra pounds” or whatever else you might call it.  I am a slender guy myself, so this is just natural.  I am not looking to be like Kermit and Ms Piggy here either…

Anyways, I figured we’d have a coffee, probably grab a beer and that would be it.

We went to bar #1 which was way too loud and busy, so I asked if there were any around where we could play pool or video games.  There was, right across the street.

Drink, drinks…..more drinks

We’re making out in the middle of the semi-empty bar, like idiots.

I suggest going back to my car, we do.  More making out ensues, then we go into the back seat…no sex, but pretty much.  If you know what I mean.

Now I walk her back to her car “Are you going to at least ask me for my number” -oops, all the previous convo had been on the site alone.  So I do.

We text a few more times during the week and we decide to meet up again the next Friday.

I pull up to her place to pick her up, she invites me in, I go inside.

BAM!

Who the F&%^* is this???

She looked way bigger, shapeless, way less stylish, not sexy at all and overall just…. Tired.

I mentally check-out right then – but we still went on our planned dinner date, which was quick and filled with awkward silences.  We then stopped at a bar for beer – not even that helped.

Oddly enough I think our female waitress had even figured it out, because when my date went to the washroom I motioned her to bring me the bill and the debit machine.  She brought that thing over quicker than a lightning bolt and quickly entered everything, while constantly looking over at the washroom door – almost like I was going to pay and then try for a hasty escape!  Ha!

No, I am not that shallow.

Then as I pull up to her place she invites me in for a beer, followed with “but you don’t have to”

I go in and she gives me a beer, before she curled up on the couch, certainly expecting part 2 of what went down on the back seat of the car.

Me to myself: I can’t do this.

I briefly explain to her that I am tired and should just hit the road – and I did after extremely awkward small talk while putting on my shoes and jacket.

Haven’t heard from her since, I am sure she got the message.

On another note I have a half dozen others already lined up, so we should have some decent content coming up.

Enjoy!

Med girl #2

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Blog #23

I am writing about this one just after getting a “Dear John” text message which marked the end of this fast and furious “relationship”.

I don’t even think we had “known” each other for more than 2 weeks and that included the dating site intro, texting, phone call and meeting which was to lead to another meeting which ultimately didn’t happen.

We chatted on the dating site first and she was full of energy and seemed very motivated.  On top of that this girl seemed very aggressive in pursuing me and this came across as a little freaky.  However, she was new to this whole thing saying she had enlisted with online dating less than a week before we bumped into each other.  Right off the bat I figured she was likely just overwhelmed with all of it or felt she was simply excited because she was convinced she had met Mr. Right.

It was her idea to move things to text because she was getting “inundated with messages from men, that she couldn’t reject fast enough” and that texting would be easier than sifting though all the messages to find the new one from me.

Things like that – I’d never heard before, this lady meant business.

We eventually called each other after the texts became too long and tiresome to type – within 10 minutes – “We have too much to talk about for texting”, she said and the phone call went really well.  She was funny, interesting and really pulling things together that we had in common.  She wasn’t letting the chips simply fall as they may, she was physically pulling pieces together to make this work – if that makes sense.

Regardless we had arranged to meet by her place on a Thursday night and she was going to take me on a walking tour of her area.  I thought it was a great date idea and couldn’t wait, until it ended up pouring rain the day we were to meet up.  I had sent her a note saying I hope the rain stops and then she replied that we could always postpone.  I replied when would we postpone to?  Which she replied with “That was a trick question, a little rain isn’t going to scare you off is it”

No, it wasn’t and we changed the date from the walking tour to playing pool at a pub.

The night before we met she had also called me from a very noisy bar after her favorite hockey team had won a game.  I couldn’t even hear her, and honestly thought it was a little weird.  “You’re missing the party” “mummble mummble mummble” “ok see you tomorrow”

Hmmm… I chalked it up as alcohol driven and possibly cause for concern, but whatever.

The next day we met in the parking lot, she actually looked better than her pictures and we shared her umbrella to the pub.  We had a few beers there and played pool before heading to another spot for live music and a couple more drinks.  No denying we got along well, this wasn’t like a typical first date and nothing like an awkward first coffee date type thing, this was fun!

At the live music spot I did end up with my arm around her (liquid courage) before we left as she had to be at work very early the next morning.

Before I had even made it to my door I had received a text from her saying she had such a great time and maybe we could meet that weekend to watch fireworks under the stars, and how it would be romantic.

I told her that was a great idea and we’d make arrangements closer to the day.

That was today.

This morning I texted her asking where and when the fireworks were?  She replied right back saying she was looking up the same thing – but neither of us could find any info on where they were happening by her place.  She then said maybe we’d just get together tomorrow night and watch the hockey game, to which I said that’s a work night and tonight was still the weekend.  She said “for you” as she had to work the next day regardless.

I said I’d come see her when I had to work the next day, and she didn’t, to be fair.

Then she said Ok we’ll hang out tonight but she’ll have to find another date to do the hockey game with the day after.

I said I can probably do the hockey game too!

She then said her friends will be jealous and I can’t “hog her all the time”

I LOL’d that as the joke I thought it was and left her to her work.

About 2 hours ago I got a long text from her, something along the lines of “I can’t see you anymore, I’ve only met you once and I already feel smothered.  I feel you deserve someone that has more time for you”

WHAT!!??

After pacing around for awhile wondering what had just happened I sent a reply.  “I was only showing availability, and I am sorry it went down like this, take care :)”

And that was it – unless I get a drunk dial from her after the hockey game tomorrow, that is.

‘Til next time