The 5 Worst Things To Talk About During A Date

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Time to blow the dust off the keyboard, for weeks I couldn’t even get in here as I lost the password.  I’ve noticed almost nobody has been blogging much, but I have the urge so lets go.

#1 – Your Ex.

This one is a no brainer for any veteran dater but during my dating tenure it was a very popular topic for the newbies.  If your date brings up their ex – 99.9% of the time all it means is that they aren’t over them and it’s the biggest red flag that can be waved.  Your date wants to hear and learn about you and not much else.  If you feel the need to bring up your ex, you shouldn’t be out on a date in the first place.

#2 – Your Job

Obviously you are going to bring up what you do for a living, but don’t dwell on it.  Shop talk is extremely boring and can suck the life out of a date within a couple of minutes.  Many things can also go wrong  if you don’t particularly like your job, so now the discussion has turned depressing and negative – or you can come off as a conceited douche, both are date killers.

#3 – Your Trip

“Oh it was so beautiful, and the rooms were gorgeous” – who cares.  If it ain’t about you, make it about them.

#4 – Politics or Religion

I’ll give this one a 50% chance of success if you happen to be into the same political party or religious beliefs, but if not – prepare for fireworks, and no call back.

#5 – Mindless drivel

Things such as, but not limited to: weather, traffic, routes you take to work, air travel, personal drama, current affairs etc.

If you want to make a connection on a first date you aren’t going to do it by scraping the surface with worthless small talk.  Ask questions about your date to open them up and see who they really are, if you relate to something then touch on it.  Men on first dates are only supposed to ask questions and keep the female talking for 80% of the date, but they have to be the right ones that get below the surface.

If women find themselves on a date with a guy that only wants to talk about his job and the weather, save the date by asking him questions to take the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Deep conversation is sexy, make it happen!

 

 

 

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How to deal with dating rejection

30's dating stories

Blog #17

I’ve been on a lot of dates over the past few months and if I were just out there dating and not learning anything from it (or at least writing about my dates) I’d probably go crazy.

I’ve also chatted with many people about dating since starting this blog and the most popular aspect by far keeping most people away from dating is the inevitable rejection that comes along with it.

Rejection simply doesn’t bother me anymore, at least not as much as it used to and the following will explain why.

First things first if you are embarking on a journey of online dating you have to mentally replace the word “dating” with “meeting”.  Online dating isn’t like normal dating where you go out on a date with Sally from your gym or Mike that you met though a friend – not even close.

You’re meeting SweetyGirl434 that you sent a couple messages back and forth with and maybe spoke on the phone with once or twice.

You have built this person up in your mind to be what you want, and they have done the same for you – this happens and is the “leading cause” of what we call dating rejection but there is far more to it.  If you’ve read about my dates you’ll see how many times I met girls that looked nothing like their pictures so I rejected them, obviously, but that’s too easy, lets dig a little deeper.

I’ve also met ones that had great pictures and an even better write up, I anticipated their next email or text with outlandish enthusiasm because we got along so well – just to later meet her and deflate as fast as a punctured blimp.  Zero chemistry “not my type”.

Your easy out is obviously when you don’t jive with the other person that does jive with you, this is when you get to be the schmuck – congrats, but this is a two street and you will get run over.

Here’s the run down:

They like you, you don’t like them – Easiest

You don’t like them, they also don’t like you – A little sting

You like them, they don’t like you – Stinger

Let’s deal with the stinger!

How could they not like me?  We chatted about everything, we spoke on the phone for hours, I had 12 pictures up – what the hell is wrong!!!  Nothing.

Lets wind back to the part how online dating is really just meeting random people from the internet – are we to assume that we are going to have an emotional connection with such a vast number of the random public?

Oh but you had 14 pictures up, a witty write up that took you 2 minutes to write and you both like traveling, reading, watching movies and hanging with friends.

You do realize that everyone likes those same things…..right?

Online dating is essentially akin to walking through a shopping mall and pulling any random member of the opposite sex that you find attractive into a coffee shop and sitting down – now think of the numbers involved to find one that’s going to be compatible, on both sides, to really work out.

For some it only takes attraction – but generally people are done basing relationships on that somewhere in their 20’s.

Online dating is also a huge marketplace filled with able singles, for some it only takes one off putting thing from you to send them back to their computer where they can meet someone else in a few clicks.

Online dating is far from perfect, but the “rejection” from it really isn’t true “rejection” like getting fired from your job or dumped from your long term significant other.  People get rejected several times a day dealing with normal life things that we don’t even notice and online dating rejection shouldn’t be looked at any differently.