This one I met through eHarmony and right off the bat I could tell she was going about dating all wrong. She went for the phone call very early (which is cool) but during that first call she made it very apparent that she wanted kids, just without coming out and saying it.
“Well, when I raise my kids” – stuff like that. The first call was then followed up by nightly texts “Can you call?” which came three times…
She also lied about her career, on her profile it said child care, but in person that turned into “collections agent”. Any normal guy would have bailed, but I stayed the course. One time she even blurted out “guys get scared and run away very easily” – and I am thinking “of course they do, you want kids tomorrow but have zero means to pay for them”.
Her dream job was to just turn “her” house into a daycare so she could raise her kids while making money looking after other kids as well. Yes, all of this and we hadn’t even met yet! Ahhhh, I can see it now, single income and coming home to 14 kids running around the house – this is what dreams are made of!!
This all happened alongside text messages like “What are you doing right now?”, “Where are you?”, “I guess you found someone else, huh?”, “Are we still meeting in an hour?”
She was nuts but the truth was I had been having a treacherous week with other stuff and having a date to look forward to seemed to take the edge off.
We set the date for Friday at 7pm to grab drinks then play mini-golf. I arrived 10 minutes before and parked, I got a text from her that she was there and parked, on the opposite side of the parking lot, an honest mile away from where I was – facing a furniture store. I was like, why the hell is she way over there?? She texted that she would walk over to meet me, I said OK, I’ll walk and meet you.
I walked, and walked – and walked. I couldn’t see anyone. I did a full lap and just headed back to my car, which was when I saw her walking around aimlessly staring into her phone. I approached. Right away no chemistry, as I knew there wouldn’t be the entire time. This was one of those meetings where it’s like “oh cool, I am on a date with Nancy from HR” – just a mediocre girl with no sizzle.
I felt bad because she went for a hug but I was in the middle of asking her why she parked at the furniture store? Which caught her off guard and I got an “I dunno” answer. I said let’s go grab some food and then hit up the min-putt place, which she agreed. She said she had already eaten but might get something to nibble on (I hadn’t eaten and was starving). I ordered my food and she ordered mushroom quesadillas – weird, but whatever.
After eating two of them though (in near complete silence), she abruptly got up and quickly made her way to the ladies room. Upon her return it was apparent all those mushrooms weren’t agreeing with her. “My stomach is gurgling” ,”ordering that was a bad idea”
So we leave, I asked if she was still up for mini-golf and she said no, but could we go for a walk, or even better, a walk through the furniture store.
Uhh, thanks but no thanks, how about we just walk around outside. We made a lap around a few buildings and she said that she’s better get going as she really wasn’t feeling well. So I walked her over by her car and said “Well I am way over there, nice meeting you, byyyeee” and snuffed another 2 hug attempts from her.
#1 who even eats mushroom quesadilla on a first date? And #2 even if you do and fall ill, try to stick it out for longer than 20 minutes.
One of two things happened, she used it as an excuse to bail, which is fine as its apparently blatant as day when I am uninterested no matter how hard I try to act like I am or she truly did get a little woozy feeling and wussed out to go back to the warm embrace of her mother (who she lived with, at 34). Both are deal breakers.
All remnants deleted/blocked and that will be the first and last time I aim low.
In near disgust I hopped back in my car, feeling completely used/stupid for the $40 I had just spent on an absolute stranger and headed home to get drunk with friends.