The Bad Women of 30’s Dating

This post isn’t scientific but from my real world experience of dating over the past few years.  The old cliche is that the dating pool in your 30’s is pretty bleak and I can say that’s very true.  Lets focus on some (not all) of the women you’ll encounter when dating in your 30’s.

The Clueless Serial Dater

She’s on a few different dating sites / apps which makes you think she’s tired of being single and is ready to settle down, except she isn’t.  I’ve dated many of these over the years and they’re all still single to this day.  Why?  I really have no idea, but generally you can assume its because she either has no idea what she wants, is still hung up on a long moved-on ex, has serious commitment issues or is simply content going on a couple dates per week to have a free glass of wine bought for her and nothing else.   She’s been doing this so long that no guy really has a chance (she goes on 50-100 dates a year) you’re just a number to her and her mind is elsewhere.  Where?  Who knows and who cares.  Avoid.

The One With Mental Health Or Other Problematic Issues

This one is hard to explain, its kinda like that guy who was asked to define porn in court,  he said he couldn’t define it but knew it when he saw it.  You’ll know this one when you run into her as the disorders are of such a wide range.  They range from general man hating to severe unchecked depression and everything in-between.  The first few dates will go seemingly well, but their true self comes out eventually and most men run for the hills.  This prompts her to periodically delete all dating apps, but she’ll be back – as always.

The Ones That Expect You To Also Date Their Families

Rare, but still out there even during 30’s dating.  This one is perfect on paper and you’ll be awestruck as to why she’s even single in the first place.  It’s because she’s in search of some messiah that doesn’t only meet her standards, but also her fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles – you get the idea.  This is the one that already has the 500 guest wedding pre-planned, she’s just looking for the right groom.  I am not against this, but we’re in our 30’s here – that ship kinda sailed over a decade ago and with a certain clock ticking, I’d think something else is more important at this stage than a $100,000 fantasy wedding.

The Ones That Lie

The mechanical engineer that was actually an environmental student, the IT professional that was actually a clothing retail employee, the IT professional that was actually just the receptionist for the place, the teacher that was actually a server at a pizza joint,  the countless time wasting re-bounders that bail the second they realize they aren’t ready to date after you have fully invested yourself, the ones using pictures of themselves when they were in college and 80lbs lighter and the ones that say they have one kid but actually have three

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The 28 Year Old

I usually don’t date women under the age of 30, I just tend to have more in common with the ones that have been on this planet for a similar amount of time as I.  However, exceptions can be made, and I did for this “waste no time” 28-year-old that reached out to me first.  She asked to meet after the second message and I was more than happy to oblige.  We exchanged numbers and all I sent was “see you there at 8pm on Thursday”.  She replied “see you soon”.

I met her in front of the coffee place (her idea).  She didn’t really look like her (vague) pictures, but close enough, and that seems to be the norm – and I get it.  She’s blonde, about 5’9″, in very nice shape, conservatively dressed, minimal – if any – makeup, she didn’t need it.

She jumped right into how she’s trying to start her own business, we get our teas and have a very nicely flowing conversation for about two hours, then she asked if I’d like to go for a walk – sure!

She’s Ukrainian born and lived most of her life in Italy but moved here in 2005 and plans to stay here forever, even though she does still bounce back and forth, getting in from Spain just two days before our date.  She asked me to walk her home and then I’d jump on the nearest subway and head back to my place.  Throughout the date she was dropping hints all over the place, like, “well you’ll have to show me how to do that”, “can you take me along next time?” – lots of things instigating future contact.  When we arrived at hers she says  “well maybe we can go skiing together, or jogging”

Skiing, WTF?  (Its Spring time)

I gave her the old “ass out” hug and went on my way.  She’s nice but I just wasn’t physically attracted to her, she came across like a business partner and not a love interest.  However, I am done with tossing potential friends aside after these dates.  I’ve mentioned before that I believe dating sites use an algorithm more or less to be friends than anything else (or worse, an algorithm designed to keep you paying and going on endless amounts of first dates, but that’s another post)  – and my gut tells me she’s on the same page.  I’ve learned from all this dating that 9 times out of 10 they feel the exact same way you do.