Don’t “Chemistry” Yourself Off A Cliff

dating chemistry

“So sorry, I didn’t feel any chemistry”

How many of you have heard (or said) that in the online dating world?

Now – did you say, or even know about chemistry when you fell for your high school sweetheart or other organic relationships?  I am going to assume no – you likely fell over a period of time and different emotions.  This may have taken days, weeks or months – not a few notes passed across the classroom (texts) and one juice together (wine/beer) in the cafeteria (bar).

See where I am going with this?

I get it – and have lived it, first date fireworks are fucking awesome – but my organic relationships  lasted longer than my online ones – where literal nukes went off on the first dates in the form of “chemistry”.

So that said, I just want to say, don’t have so many crazy expectations for a first date – what you really want is compatibility, likeability and attraction.  If those things are met, yes, meet up again.

 

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The Usual, Alright Date.

Oh really, wow, great.

Oh really, wow, great.

The alright date – you know the one, you meet, have a decent conversation over a couple of drinks, chat about your careers, life, family, whatever – then pay the bill, end with a short hug in the parking lot  and never see or attempt to see each other ever again.

*Note – If she’s hot, the guy will always go for the 2nd date, just as an attempt to hook-up, but 9 times out of 10 she felt the same (and isn’t looking for hook-ups) will send you a polite rejection note, which you will laugh off.   This part seems very unclear for “20’s daters” especially women, who are into the guy, get railed once or twice and then ghosted.  That’s why.  No fireworks went off for both parties.

Anyways….

These regular, vanilla, “dates” are what make up the bulk of any dating life.

I’ve been on six of them since Christmas.  No butterflies, no fireworks – just a friendly piece of time spent with a stranger (lets call it what it is).

These are the ones that piss off your friends, making them call you “picky” or that you are wasting your time online dating overall.   “Well you better pick one of them, you’re getting older” – thanks for the inspiration!

So keep that in mind if you are venturing into the land of online dating – some dates will be awesome, some will royally suck – but most will just be alright, with someone you’d end up as friends with under any other circumstance – but you aren’t looking for friends.