The 5 Worst Things To Talk About During A Date

sc-fam-0210-lifeskill-back-out-of-conversation-20150205

Time to blow the dust off the keyboard, for weeks I couldn’t even get in here as I lost the password.  I’ve noticed almost nobody has been blogging much, but I have the urge so lets go.

#1 – Your Ex.

This one is a no brainer for any veteran dater but during my dating tenure it was a very popular topic for the newbies.  If your date brings up their ex – 99.9% of the time all it means is that they aren’t over them and it’s the biggest red flag that can be waved.  Your date wants to hear and learn about you and not much else.  If you feel the need to bring up your ex, you shouldn’t be out on a date in the first place.

#2 – Your Job

Obviously you are going to bring up what you do for a living, but don’t dwell on it.  Shop talk is extremely boring and can suck the life out of a date within a couple of minutes.  Many things can also go wrong  if you don’t particularly like your job, so now the discussion has turned depressing and negative – or you can come off as a conceited douche, both are date killers.

#3 – Your Trip

“Oh it was so beautiful, and the rooms were gorgeous” – who cares.  If it ain’t about you, make it about them.

#4 – Politics or Religion

I’ll give this one a 50% chance of success if you happen to be into the same political party or religious beliefs, but if not – prepare for fireworks, and no call back.

#5 – Mindless drivel

Things such as, but not limited to: weather, traffic, routes you take to work, air travel, personal drama, current affairs etc.

If you want to make a connection on a first date you aren’t going to do it by scraping the surface with worthless small talk.  Ask questions about your date to open them up and see who they really are, if you relate to something then touch on it.  Men on first dates are only supposed to ask questions and keep the female talking for 80% of the date, but they have to be the right ones that get below the surface.

If women find themselves on a date with a guy that only wants to talk about his job and the weather, save the date by asking him questions to take the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Deep conversation is sexy, make it happen!

 

 

 

Advertisements

Are you falling into these dating pitfalls?

sabotage

It sounds crazy, but think about it.  Have you ever purposely not messaged someone on a dating site because they seem like they may actually work as a match?  Have you purposely engaged with people who you knew deep down wouldn’t turn into anything? Why would someone do this?  Its simple…

Fear of actually finding a long-term relationship

Deep down some of us may fear an actual long-term relationship and this can happen for various reasons such as bad previous experiences and /or heartbreak.  Its pretty easy to be an active dater while also avoiding anything resembling commitment by dating people who will never turn into anything serious.

There is another benefit to dating less than ideal people for you…

If it doesn’t work out or they reject, who cares! 

Its pretty easy to toss aside any feelings toward a potential match when its doomed from the start.  Attraction or some other element may line up (usually sex or the potential thereof)  but when you truly aren’t 100% into that person, generally you’re going to be able to deflect them or any feelings you had and move onto the next one when the inevitable ending comes.

What’s the root cause of this?

Trying your best and getting hurt or not willing to put in the work required to court a proper match are usually why people do it, but do you know how bad relationships begin?  You just read it.