The 5 Worst Things To Talk About During A Date

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Time to blow the dust off the keyboard, for weeks I couldn’t even get in here as I lost the password.  I’ve noticed almost nobody has been blogging much, but I have the urge so lets go.

#1 – Your Ex.

This one is a no brainer for any veteran dater but during my dating tenure it was a very popular topic for the newbies.  If your date brings up their ex – 99.9% of the time all it means is that they aren’t over them and it’s the biggest red flag that can be waved.  Your date wants to hear and learn about you and not much else.  If you feel the need to bring up your ex, you shouldn’t be out on a date in the first place.

#2 – Your Job

Obviously you are going to bring up what you do for a living, but don’t dwell on it.  Shop talk is extremely boring and can suck the life out of a date within a couple of minutes.  Many things can also go wrong  if you don’t particularly like your job, so now the discussion has turned depressing and negative – or you can come off as a conceited douche, both are date killers.

#3 – Your Trip

“Oh it was so beautiful, and the rooms were gorgeous” – who cares.  If it ain’t about you, make it about them.

#4 – Politics or Religion

I’ll give this one a 50% chance of success if you happen to be into the same political party or religious beliefs, but if not – prepare for fireworks, and no call back.

#5 – Mindless drivel

Things such as, but not limited to: weather, traffic, routes you take to work, air travel, personal drama, current affairs etc.

If you want to make a connection on a first date you aren’t going to do it by scraping the surface with worthless small talk.  Ask questions about your date to open them up and see who they really are, if you relate to something then touch on it.  Men on first dates are only supposed to ask questions and keep the female talking for 80% of the date, but they have to be the right ones that get below the surface.

If women find themselves on a date with a guy that only wants to talk about his job and the weather, save the date by asking him questions to take the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Deep conversation is sexy, make it happen!

 

 

 

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Quit Treating Your Date Like She’s Already Your Girlfriend

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I recently read about a guy seeking “help” after his first date with a girl went completely sideways.  This moron, for lack of better term, took the girl to the mall and had 12 children each walk up to her and hand her a red rose – from him.

Yeah.

And he was wondering why she bolted to the hills and blocked his number.  And while this is clearly an extreme case of said epidemic, guys fall into this trap all too often.  Not just with actions either, it’s usually words that will cause the lady to run away – most times before even meeting.  Ever had a girl cancel your date 10 minutes before, because her brothers, best friends sisters rabbit got sick?

Then you have fallen into the trap – and its all you buddy.

To go on 1, 2 or 8 initial dates with someone new is really no different from when you met your best friend.  Did you tell them they were your best friend, buy them a gift and then blow up their phone all before they had a chance to get home right after you first met?  If you did then they aren’t your best friend – that person would have a restraining order on you.

Understand that women are emotional beings, while we idiots are visual.

Too deep?  Ok.

Women are crock pots, men are microwaves – make sense?  They need time for their feelings to develop.  This is where the old “wait 3 days until after the date to call her” came from in order to let her feelings develop.   The other benefit of this, is that all beings look back after time with less than perfect vision – tending to remember the good, and not the bad.  That’s where the “no contact rule” after a break up came from – and they both exist because they work. 

Thinking that you need to “do something” during these periods is to dig your own grave.  Why would a successful guy that has tons of options really care that much anyways?

Notice how the girls you don’t like chase you, but the ones you do like run away?  This is why – it’s because you are treating them differently.   The other example is men are like dogs and women are like cats – what does a cat do if you make sudden actions around them?  They run.  Now what does a cat do in which you ignore – it hops into your lap and starts to purr.

So meet to get to know her and have fun, ask questions, show interest, kiss her on the lips and then take a breather before running her off.

 

 

Are you falling into these dating pitfalls?

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It sounds crazy, but think about it.  Have you ever purposely not messaged someone on a dating site because they seem like they may actually work as a match?  Have you purposely engaged with people who you knew deep down wouldn’t turn into anything? Why would someone do this?  Its simple…

Fear of actually finding a long-term relationship

Deep down some of us may fear an actual long-term relationship and this can happen for various reasons such as bad previous experiences and /or heartbreak.  Its pretty easy to be an active dater while also avoiding anything resembling commitment by dating people who will never turn into anything serious.

There is another benefit to dating less than ideal people for you…

If it doesn’t work out or they reject, who cares! 

Its pretty easy to toss aside any feelings toward a potential match when its doomed from the start.  Attraction or some other element may line up (usually sex or the potential thereof)  but when you truly aren’t 100% into that person, generally you’re going to be able to deflect them or any feelings you had and move onto the next one when the inevitable ending comes.

What’s the root cause of this?

Trying your best and getting hurt or not willing to put in the work required to court a proper match are usually why people do it, but do you know how bad relationships begin?  You just read it.