Guest Post: Why Over 30 Is The Best Age For Serious Relationships

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Age is a strange thing. In your younger years you may feel so sure of what you want in a relationship and who you are, and you certainly have the energy to persue what you want and to get it. Though, as you move up through your twenties, something happens.
Nasty relationships, financial struggles and an awakening to the nature of the world may shake your confidence; you may become jaded and certain that dating is a waste of your time; or you may get so wrapped up in your professional career that you don’t take the time to foster those social skills which work to put you out there to prove your worth to the opposite sex.
Whatever the reason, dating through your twenties can be quite rocky, especially as you edge closer to your thirties while watching your friends getting picked off one by one by that special someone they have chosen to settle down with.
There is hope, and far more of it than you would think. The fact of the matter is that when you turn thirty, the dating world becomes clearer to navigate, less daunting than it ever was in your twenties, and far more rewarding than you could ever have imagined it would be.

You have a better idea of who you are

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I struggle with the notion of young love, or love at first site. I acquaint these ideals with a sense of nativity that is often associated with youth. Chemistry between two people can come about for a number of reasons, and love and attraction are not always on the list.
There is a tendency in your youth to choose dating partners based on their aesthetic qualities, seeking perfection in beauty without considering whether you have something to offer in return for this or not. The truth is, when you are in your twenties, you likely don’t yet have the financial security and personal confidence required to prove your worth, something which seems to change dramatically when you hit your thirties.
Life’s challenges will make you more attune to who you are, where you are going and what you have to offer. The confidence this brings makes it easier to put yourself out there and makes communicating with women far more natural and easier to do, making the dating game far less terrifying.

You know what you want

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By your thirties, you have likely gone through scores of breakups and dealt with flings and girlfriends who were prime examples of what you didn’t need in your life. Each of these incidences have had something to teach you.
You now know what you want in a woman beyond a buxom bosom, smooth skin and an exceptional bedside manner. You now know what a potential partner should bring to your life beyond immediate attraction.

Is she self-centered? Can she engage you in intelligent conversations? Does she compliment your personality? Questions like these can only really be answered once you have sifted through the fun-girls of your twenties and realized why they weren’t right for you.

You’ve played all the bitter games and so has she

By the time you hit your thirties, you have likely been jaded by scores of failed relationships and behavior unbecoming of a human. Silly childish games, unwarranted jealousy and infidelity can all be attributed to the folly of youth.
By the time you hit your thirties, however, you have played each variety of these relational games for dominance, meaning you can spot them from a mile away and move on without wasting your time.

Author Bio:
Mark Greene of Mens Axis is a lifestyle professional writer and digital nomad with a keen interest in men’s mental and physical health, life hacks, grooming, men’s fashion, sex, dating, career and overall day to day solutions for men. The world, according to him, is what you make of it. So go out there and make it amazing.

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What I’ve learned after 18 dates

30s dating

Blog #22

Well that was fast.

In just around 3 months I’ve met 18 women and I’ve learned a few things that I will share.

First things first, no matter what is said online or over the phone doesn’t matter the second you lock eyes on one another in person.  At this point everything changes and you’re starting over at zero..

It’s usually not very long after this initial moment when you realize you’re in big trouble for chatting this person up on the dating site based off looks or some other lone attribute.  For men this is most likely the #1 thing to go wrong and make us lose interest, probably the same for women too.

It’s happened to me, a few times, so from this point forward I put more effort into who the woman actually is and why I might like her for a variety of reasons which will at least help me keep things moving intellectually.  One of the @30s_Dater Twitter followers said that you have 12 minutes to impress your date from the time you meet and I wholeheartedly agree with it.

My last date with a lawyer started off pretty slow and I did my best to rev things up to get me through those first 12 minutes and the date ended up going pretty well, so if you’re an active dater – keep the first 12 minutes in mind!

Another thing is to keep an eye on their online dialogue for hints of how they will act in person.  If they’re responding with mindless and boring replies then don’t expect that person to suddenly transform into the life of the party in person, far from it.

Further, the ones that are all over the map online and asking odd ball and weird things will be just like that in person, only amplified.  While I have never really moved on from a lady over one thing she said online, women can be bad for it, but you know what?  They’re probably just doing it from experience (and because they have 53432452345 other interested suitors messaging them).

One thing many active daters tell you not to do is engage in a lengthy build up process.  This is when you slide from messaging each other on the dating site, to texting and calling each other for weeks before meeting.  You will invest time (in some cases months) into a person you really know nothing about and very rarely does it hold together after meeting up, either mutually or worse – one of you doesn’t like the other.

My advice toward this is to find the happy medium.  Don’t spend every waking moment connected to this person of mutual interest, but stay engaged enough to keep it interesting before your planned date.

The flip side of this is messaging each other 3-4 times and then meeting.  I’ve done that a few times too and those dates were usually the worst ones, in the least make a serious effort to get the person on the phone before meeting.  The phone will tell you things about the other person that messaging and texting cannot touch and the information you’ll learn can be priceless.

Until next time!