The Bad Women of 30’s Dating

This post isn’t scientific but from my real world experience of dating over the past few years.  The old cliche is that the dating pool in your 30’s is pretty bleak and I can say that’s very true.  Lets focus on some (not all) of the women you’ll encounter when dating in your 30’s.

The Clueless Serial Dater

She’s on a few different dating sites / apps which makes you think she’s tired of being single and is ready to settle down, except she isn’t.  I’ve dated many of these over the years and they’re all still single to this day.  Why?  I really have no idea, but generally you can assume its because she either has no idea what she wants, is still hung up on a long moved-on ex, has serious commitment issues or is simply content going on a couple dates per week to have a free glass of wine bought for her and nothing else.   She’s been doing this so long that no guy really has a chance (she goes on 50-100 dates a year) you’re just a number to her and her mind is elsewhere.  Where?  Who knows and who cares.  Avoid.

The One With Mental Health Or Other Problematic Issues

This one is hard to explain, its kinda like that guy who was asked to define porn in court,  he said he couldn’t define it but knew it when he saw it.  You’ll know this one when you run into her as the disorders are of such a wide range.  They range from general man hating to severe unchecked depression and everything in-between.  The first few dates will go seemingly well, but their true self comes out eventually and most men run for the hills.  This prompts her to periodically delete all dating apps, but she’ll be back – as always.

The Ones That Expect You To Also Date Their Families

Rare, but still out there even during 30’s dating.  This one is perfect on paper and you’ll be awestruck as to why she’s even single in the first place.  It’s because she’s in search of some messiah that doesn’t only meet her standards, but also her fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles – you get the idea.  This is the one that already has the 500 guest wedding pre-planned, she’s just looking for the right groom.  I am not against this, but we’re in our 30’s here – that ship kinda sailed over a decade ago and with a certain clock ticking, I’d think something else is more important at this stage than a $100,000 fantasy wedding.

The Ones That Lie

The mechanical engineer that was actually an environmental student, the IT professional that was actually a clothing retail employee, the IT professional that was actually just the receptionist for the place, the teacher that was actually a server at a pizza joint,  the countless time wasting re-bounders that bail the second they realize they aren’t ready to date after you have fully invested yourself, the ones using pictures of themselves when they were in college and 80lbs lighter and the ones that say they have one kid but actually have three

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

What I’ve Learned From Over 35 Online Dates In 6 Months

dating in your 30's

Back when I started online dating I never figured I’d meet so many women, but I have and my goal was to at least try to learn something from it – as it was always in the back of my mind that I probably wouldn’t find a girlfriend from it, so what have I learned?

Some basics of course, online dating sites are literally meat markets and you’re always looking for someone better than who you may even be communicating with at the time.  You may be into the person you’re conversing with, but you’re going to have your feelers out for something better – this goes for both sexes.  The thing I learned is that there never was anyone better, but many that were indeed worse!  After learning this (the hard way) I would only focus on that person, but my stip was that it was one from each dating site.  Girl from Match would see that I hadn’t been online in 3+ days, but meanwhile I was trolling eHarmony, or vice versa, and texting up to 4-5 girls at the same time at various stages of the meet and greet process.

Another important thing is that the person you met online will never be the person you meet in-person.  This is a fact.  Once you can get your head wrapped around that you’ll naturally become open to meeting people who may not have formerly met your online dating standards.  For me, if the picture was good and they had their acts together I’d usually meet them and many times I was pleasantly surprised with whom I was sitting there having a date with.  Some people just can’t digitally express themselves in the same light that they do in real life, or even on the phone.

Of course this backfired in spectacular fashion more than a few times, but that’s ultimately the risks we take when essentially meeting strangers from the internet.

Another important lesson I learned the hard way is that online dating sites are literally filled with people on the re-bound – always ask when their last relationship was before bothering to meet.  Many I asked had just gotten out of long-term relationships less than 3 months prior – and I do not believe anyone is over their ex in such a short period of time.  I’ve even done this in the past!  After the date (which only made me miss my ex even more) I realized I had to take time for myself and I deleted the dating profile.

One more thing is to meet your dates sooner than later and keep chit-chat to a minimum before hand.  If you do this, you’ll actually be meeting a new interesting and attractive person (if their pics are legit) versus “dealing with” someone you’ve just spent 2-3 weeks talking with that isn’t measuring up to what you had envisioned.  It’s really that simple, one or the other – choose to meet the new person that you don’t know much about instead!  The less we knew about each other the better the date was, even if it led nowhere.

Til next time’