The Bad Women of 30’s Dating

This post isn’t scientific but from my real world experience of dating over the past few years.  The old cliche is that the dating pool in your 30’s is pretty bleak and I can say that’s very true.  Lets focus on some (not all) of the women you’ll encounter when dating in your 30’s.

The Clueless Serial Dater

She’s on a few different dating sites / apps which makes you think she’s tired of being single and is ready to settle down, except she isn’t.  I’ve dated many of these over the years and they’re all still single to this day.  Why?  I really have no idea, but generally you can assume its because she either has no idea what she wants, is still hung up on a long moved-on ex, has serious commitment issues or is simply content going on a couple dates per week to have a free glass of wine bought for her and nothing else.   She’s been doing this so long that no guy really has a chance (she goes on 50-100 dates a year) you’re just a number to her and her mind is elsewhere.  Where?  Who knows and who cares.  Avoid.

The One With Mental Health Or Other Problematic Issues

This one is hard to explain, its kinda like that guy who was asked to define porn in court,  he said he couldn’t define it but knew it when he saw it.  You’ll know this one when you run into her as the disorders are of such a wide range.  They range from general man hating to severe unchecked depression and everything in-between.  The first few dates will go seemingly well, but their true self comes out eventually and most men run for the hills.  This prompts her to periodically delete all dating apps, but she’ll be back – as always.

The Ones That Expect You To Also Date Their Families

Rare, but still out there even during 30’s dating.  This one is perfect on paper and you’ll be awestruck as to why she’s even single in the first place.  It’s because she’s in search of some messiah that doesn’t only meet her standards, but also her fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles – you get the idea.  This is the one that already has the 500 guest wedding pre-planned, she’s just looking for the right groom.  I am not against this, but we’re in our 30’s here – that ship kinda sailed over a decade ago and with a certain clock ticking, I’d think something else is more important at this stage than a $100,000 fantasy wedding.

The Ones That Lie

The mechanical engineer that was actually an environmental student, the IT professional that was actually a clothing retail employee, the IT professional that was actually just the receptionist for the place, the teacher that was actually a server at a pizza joint,  the countless time wasting re-bounders that bail the second they realize they aren’t ready to date after you have fully invested yourself, the ones using pictures of themselves when they were in college and 80lbs lighter and the ones that say they have one kid but actually have three

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Male Bumble Review

Welcome to bumble

I know that I said I hated free dating apps and sites, but a few days ago I bit the bullet and downloaded Bumble.  I also had to make a dummy Facebook account because I tossed my original one into the trash 5 years ago.

For those that don’t know, its a swipe app and after you are matched, the woman has to reply first within 24hrs of matching, and we have to reply back within 24hrs or you lose your shot.

Observation #1 is that almost all of the girls on it are beautiful – my initial run through had me literally trying to find ones that weren’t right-swipe worthy, and it was hard.  But I digress, looks alone are great in your 20’s but I desire a wee bit more than that in my 30’s and unless they tell you about themselves in the short bio, you are left to go off nothing but looks, location, age and (optional) career + education.

How about height?  I am 6 foot and don’t want to swipe on anyone taller.

Religion? I love and celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays and its an instant deal breaker if you don’t.

Body type?  Self explanatory.

The other issue here is the widely discussed algorithm they have in place for men.  When I first signed up and started swiping I got about 5 or 6 matches and was messaged by 3 ladies.  Pretty normal I thought, until later on I realized I had swiped hundreds of profiles and the matches all but stopped – and I wanted to know why so I did some digging.

Basically, new male members are sent to the bottom of the barrel and have to work their way up to be shown to the more popular members based on how many right swipes we get over time.  I assume the first batch of matches I got was a little taste of the top to convince me to not insta-delete the app out of frustration.  From my research other men experienced the same thing right after signing up.

Fair enough I thought, over a week or so I should have generated enough right swipes to be “in the show” but even this was flawed.  Apparently many men right swipe everyone which in-turn makes almost every right swipe for women a match which bogs down the entire system.  It could be weeks or months before a girl I right-swiped on today even comes across my profile.

I’ve also scrolled though at least 15 previous dates hanging out on here so this has been like a reunion, with a left swipe adios.

I am at 4 days in and I get 1, maybe 2 matches a day and I have pretty much stopped swiping so it can catch up.  Oh, I take it you have noticed the image up there – here’s another

It’s not just guys……

UPDATE: 4/15/17

I am now finally getting quality matches, I assume I qualified to Bumbles standards?  Women I match with tend to message within the hour or not at all.  I will updated later.

Final Update:

I didn’t like it, whenever I was messaging with a girl I could tell I was just one of many dudes she was juggling.  Lots of one word answers, not asking me questions on top of the aforementioned algorithm debacle makes me have to give this app two thumbs down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mrs Red Flag City

She had sent me a message on match but her profile only had one picture and it wasn’t of her – it was of an ocean.  I quickly told her I need to see what she looks like – she says she took them all down due to receiving “weird messages from men”.

That was the first red flag.

She uploads a blurry head shot, then a couple more showing her very nice body, I am game.  So we start chatting.  She had been through a (I assume rough) divorce 2-3 years prior and told me she had taken quite a bit of time to heal and get her mojo back, which is understandable.  We seem to gel pretty well, so I go for the date and she shoots me down!  She says she had her tonsils pulled 3 weeks ago and she’s still healing from that!

There’s the second red flag.

Our slew of messages has now deteriorated to maybe one a day as I have no idea what this chicks deal is, but she continues to send messages – now asking things you ask in person.  Personality types, what am I looking for, where do I see myself in 5 years type questions.  I send a sly answer and firmly ask again for the meet and she agrees.  I tell her I’ll find a nice spot at the half way point and she likes the idea.

I find a really nice, quiet cafe, booth style seating, nice ambiance – perfect for a first date, but remember what I am dealing with.

Yeah – she said that wasn’t going to work as she used to live in the area (big town with a population of 200,000) and she was fearful of running into someone she knows, and asks if I can pick another spot in the next town over.

3rd red flag, you’re outta here!

I told her this was never going to work, she had way too many rules and restrictions – among whatever the hell else was causing her to act like that.

Wanna know what she responded with?

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Someone needs to heed their own advice.

The end.