The Bad Women of 30’s Dating

This post isn’t scientific but from my real world experience of dating over the past few years.  The old cliche is that the dating pool in your 30’s is pretty bleak and I can say that’s very true.  Lets focus on some (not all) of the women you’ll encounter when dating in your 30’s.

The Clueless Serial Dater

She’s on a few different dating sites / apps which makes you think she’s tired of being single and is ready to settle down, except she isn’t.  I’ve dated many of these over the years and they’re all still single to this day.  Why?  I really have no idea, but generally you can assume its because she either has no idea what she wants, is still hung up on a long moved-on ex, has serious commitment issues or is simply content going on a couple dates per week to have a free glass of wine bought for her and nothing else.   She’s been doing this so long that no guy really has a chance (she goes on 50-100 dates a year) you’re just a number to her and her mind is elsewhere.  Where?  Who knows and who cares.  Avoid.

The One With Mental Health Or Other Problematic Issues

This one is hard to explain, its kinda like that guy who was asked to define porn in court,  he said he couldn’t define it but knew it when he saw it.  You’ll know this one when you run into her as the disorders are of such a wide range.  They range from general man hating to severe unchecked depression and everything in-between.  The first few dates will go seemingly well, but their true self comes out eventually and most men run for the hills.  This prompts her to periodically delete all dating apps, but she’ll be back – as always.

The Ones That Expect You To Also Date Their Families

Rare, but still out there even during 30’s dating.  This one is perfect on paper and you’ll be awestruck as to why she’s even single in the first place.  It’s because she’s in search of some messiah that doesn’t only meet her standards, but also her fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles – you get the idea.  This is the one that already has the 500 guest wedding pre-planned, she’s just looking for the right groom.  I am not against this, but we’re in our 30’s here – that ship kinda sailed over a decade ago and with a certain clock ticking, I’d think something else is more important at this stage than a $100,000 fantasy wedding.

The Ones That Lie

The mechanical engineer that was actually an environmental student, the IT professional that was actually a clothing retail employee, the IT professional that was actually just the receptionist for the place, the teacher that was actually a server at a pizza joint,  the countless time wasting re-bounders that bail the second they realize they aren’t ready to date after you have fully invested yourself, the ones using pictures of themselves when they were in college and 80lbs lighter and the ones that say they have one kid but actually have three

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mrs Red Flag City

She had sent me a message on match but her profile only had one picture and it wasn’t of her – it was of an ocean.  I quickly told her I need to see what she looks like – she says she took them all down due to receiving “weird messages from men”.

That was the first red flag.

She uploads a blurry head shot, then a couple more showing her very nice body, I am game.  So we start chatting.  She had been through a (I assume rough) divorce 2-3 years prior and told me she had taken quite a bit of time to heal and get her mojo back, which is understandable.  We seem to gel pretty well, so I go for the date and she shoots me down!  She says she had her tonsils pulled 3 weeks ago and she’s still healing from that!

There’s the second red flag.

Our slew of messages has now deteriorated to maybe one a day as I have no idea what this chicks deal is, but she continues to send messages – now asking things you ask in person.  Personality types, what am I looking for, where do I see myself in 5 years type questions.  I send a sly answer and firmly ask again for the meet and she agrees.  I tell her I’ll find a nice spot at the half way point and she likes the idea.

I find a really nice, quiet cafe, booth style seating, nice ambiance – perfect for a first date, but remember what I am dealing with.

Yeah – she said that wasn’t going to work as she used to live in the area (big town with a population of 200,000) and she was fearful of running into someone she knows, and asks if I can pick another spot in the next town over.

3rd red flag, you’re outta here!

I told her this was never going to work, she had way too many rules and restrictions – among whatever the hell else was causing her to act like that.

Wanna know what she responded with?

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Someone needs to heed their own advice.

The end.