The Doctor

-No image available, couldn’t find a hot female Dr image that was as hot as her-

Literal days after the PR representative of the Happn app e-mailed me wondering if I would like to chat with the Happn Canada head (because of this blog), which I agreed to and had a great conversation with – I met the Dr. – through the app which I had signed up to days before they contacted me.

We had crossed paths around my place.  The app matches you with people you cross paths with within 250 meters.

In our case we assume it was when I was grocery shopping and she was at her next-to-the-grocery-store-dentist.  Crossing paths as the app markets itself might work for mall workers or students, not so much in our case, or anyone that travels by highway, but I’ll take it.

We spent about a day messaging on the app before she gave me her number and we switched to texting.  We quickly had a connection and textemistry – and I even broke my own rules by calling her during one of our textversations – which only made our seriously intense bond grow deeper.

I had to keep telling myself “you’ve done this before, it never ends well, just meet and deal with the fallout”.

I even told her this.

Her being a gorgeous petite brunette, curves in all the right places, a crazy side, a soft side, a super-funny side and everything else required to make me super attracted to her in a devilishly addictive cocktail of attraction.

I set the date at a quiet spot near her on the other side of the city, figuring we’d meet around 7 or maybe 8pm – she shot back with 9:30.

Me: 9:30?

Her: I have to do my hair, is that too late babe?

Me: You don’t have to do your hair all up, really, forget it.

Her: No, I want to look nice for you and I am doing my hair, it takes time.

Me: Ok, 9:30 is fine, I just checked and they are open until 12:00am so no worries.

Her: They are only open until 12?  Aren’t you open all night?

Me: Yes babe, bring PJ’s in case

Her: Should I maybe just come there

Me: Yes you should

(leaving out lots of come and go testing stuff, childs play)

And so it was set, a first date, after much texting and calling was set for my place.  I quickly tidied up and awaited her arrival and potentially a failure of epic proportion.

She called when she was close, I gave her directions to park and told her I would run down to meet her.

As I rounded the corner to see her outside my condo she was in an in-depth conversation with another brunette that was walking her dog.

I thought oh shit, she ran into someone she knows and this is going to be super awkward.  I could tell which one she was but kinda held back as I had no idea what was going on or even how to approach it.

Backstory – She was walking to where I said I would meet her and started petting brunettes dog.  Brunette with dog told her how she had just got home from a date, so she told her she was just going on one.

This was when I arrived.

Brunette with dog said to her “You are meeting at his place for your first date!”

Her:  Ahahaha Yes!

No wonder BWD looked at me so oddly

Regardless, after a quick hello we were headed into my place.

She was absolutely gorgeous, bubbly, high energy and funny.  She also brought me some expensive boxed whiskey which she asked for some because she was nervous and I obliged.

She had told me before she loved horror movies but had nobody to watch them with, so that was the genre we would pick.  We picked a horrible 2 star POS but quickly were wrapped up into each others arms on the couch.

Our physical chemistry beat out the terrible movie and we moved to bed, still clothed, under the covers, cuddling and whispering / kissing about the journey we had taken to get here and how crazy it all was.

She was over again the next day and our connection has only grown stronger. She’s also coming back in the morning after her shift for the 3rd day in a row.

I will be back for updates…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Guest Post: How I was an asshole the day before Valentines

So I’ve been relationship single for about a year, had a bounce around but that went to the side. My bud tells me that maybe I should try Match or something, so WTH I ‘giver a shot.

Girl chats me up on there talking how she likes a lot of the stuff I do. Sleds, 4-wheelers etc.

She was pretty cute, my picture was on there too so she knew what I looked like and it was a recent pic. Anyways we agree to meet. I let her know I gotta wake up early to help on a friends farm in the morning and I will have some hydraulic rams for his skidder in the box of my truck.

I agree to take her out to a nice steak house in my area, I am talking $50 tenderloin place and $5 drinks. She knows the place and is all exited saying she went there when she was a kid and knows they have awesome steak and its been a long time, so in my head I am thinking this is gonna go good.

Well she rolls up in a brand new Buick or something all cleaned up and mind you its -20 outside. My PSD (power stroke diesel) is rattling away covered in road salt. So I am feeling like an ass already.

I jump out and say “You ready to get some steak?” She says yes and we start rolling out, its a good 30 minute drive but she starts giving me the clues right away “how shes tired” and “tomorrow is a busy day for her” then starts in with saying opposites of what she liked before……..

So at this time I am just like WTF am I taking this broad out for?  I turn the truck around and start heading back the way we came. I know the side roads so she asks “how far is this place away?” I think she was wondering WTF was going on but she wasn’t gonna say it.  I kept it calm and cool asking about her kid and all that, then about some local racing she liked to watch.

I come in through the backside of where I picked her up and she realizes that were back where I picked her up.

She asks “why are we back here?”
I tell her “since you keep saying how you’re tired and you got a big day tomorrow I think I am just gonna make sure you get the sleep you need and get a good start for tomorrow”.

She looks right at me, with some evil eyes and opens the door and gets out.

I leave and go to the steakhouse that I was gonna take her to.  Spent the money I was going to spend on her on Captain and Root beers.

A Male Bumble Review

Welcome to bumble

I know that I said I hated free dating apps and sites, but a few days ago I bit the bullet and downloaded Bumble.  I also had to make a dummy Facebook account because I tossed my original one into the trash 5 years ago.

For those that don’t know, its a swipe app and after you are matched, the woman has to reply first within 24hrs of matching, and we have to reply back within 24hrs or you lose your shot.

Observation #1 is that almost all of the girls on it are beautiful – my initial run through had me literally trying to find ones that weren’t right-swipe worthy, and it was hard.  But I digress, looks alone are great in your 20’s but I desire a wee bit more than that in my 30’s and unless they tell you about themselves in the short bio, you are left to go off nothing but looks, location, age and (optional) career + education.

How about height?  I am 6 foot and don’t want to swipe on anyone taller.

Religion? I love and celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays and its an instant deal breaker if you don’t.

Body type?  Self explanatory.

The other issue here is the widely discussed algorithm they have in place for men.  When I first signed up and started swiping I got about 5 or 6 matches and was messaged by 3 ladies.  Pretty normal I thought, until later on I realized I had swiped hundreds of profiles and the matches all but stopped – and I wanted to know why so I did some digging.

Basically, new male members are sent to the bottom of the barrel and have to work their way up to be shown to the more popular members based on how many right swipes we get over time.  I assume the first batch of matches I got was a little taste of the top to convince me to not insta-delete the app out of frustration.  From my research other men experienced the same thing right after signing up.

Fair enough I thought, over a week or so I should have generated enough right swipes to be “in the show” but even this was flawed.  Apparently many men right swipe everyone which in-turn makes almost every right swipe for women a match which bogs down the entire system.  It could be weeks or months before a girl I right-swiped on today even comes across my profile.

I’ve also scrolled though at least 15 previous dates hanging out on here so this has been like a reunion, with a left swipe adios.

I am at 4 days in and I get 1, maybe 2 matches a day and I have pretty much stopped swiping so it can catch up.  Oh, I take it you have noticed the image up there – here’s another

It’s not just guys……

UPDATE: 4/15/17

I am now finally getting quality matches, I assume I qualified to Bumbles standards?  Women I match with tend to message within the hour or not at all.  I will updated later.

Final Update:

I didn’t like it, whenever I was messaging with a girl I could tell I was just one of many dudes she was juggling.  Lots of one word answers, not asking me questions on top of the aforementioned algorithm debacle makes me have to give this app two thumbs down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Hot Pants

pzz99682_black_xl_1

I am a sucker for girls that wear shiny tight black leggings, big time, and when she walked in wearing them I couldn’t have been happier.  I ordered a beer, she wine and then we shared a huge plate of nachos and cheese.  I had big plans for this one, but nearing the end of the date she told me how she absolutely does NOT kiss on a first date and how she had squirmed away from the last guy that tried.

Ugh.  Structured.

“Maybe the cheek”

I won’t say the conversation was all that great, all she really talked about was her mundane job (in an attempt to glorify)  and she had a really low overall energy about herself.  I did manage to make her laugh and loosen up but she was low energy at the core.  I also didn’t get to indulge in her hot-pant glory as we were in a booth and she never got up – so I knew what to plan for date #2 after giving her a peck on the cheek at the end of date #1.

We would play pool!

I set the date up at a pool hall / bar / grille in an attempt to make things more upbeat and active as 2nd dates should be, my hopes were soon dashed.

She showed up looking like she hadn’t slept, or dare I say showered in a week.  Her done up hair legit looked greasy.    All pool tables were being used so we were once again stuck in a booth with her going on and on about her job while nearly putting me to sleep.

Conversation sputtered along until I got the bill and we left.  In both cases her uber driver showed up within seconds killing my end date kissing game, but I did manage to plant one on her willing lips at the end, but I knew this one was D.O.A.

The next day I received a text thanking me for the nachos but she wasn’t feeling the mutual chemistry that we should be at this point and I was quick to agree with her.  I love not having to be the schmuck – and wished her all the best.

Without her telling me of her structured rules I would have kissed her passionately, or at least tried, at the end of date #1 and only one of two things would have happened.  She would have enjoyed it, or cheeked me.  If she enjoyed it, date #2 would have been much more interesting and if she cheeked me it would have been over right then and there.