The 5 Worst Things To Talk About During A Date

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Time to blow the dust off the keyboard, for weeks I couldn’t even get in here as I lost the password.  I’ve noticed almost nobody has been blogging much, but I have the urge so lets go.

#1 – Your Ex.

This one is a no brainer for any veteran dater but during my dating tenure it was a very popular topic for the newbies.  If your date brings up their ex – 99.9% of the time all it means is that they aren’t over them and it’s the biggest red flag that can be waved.  Your date wants to hear and learn about you and not much else.  If you feel the need to bring up your ex, you shouldn’t be out on a date in the first place.

#2 – Your Job

Obviously you are going to bring up what you do for a living, but don’t dwell on it.  Shop talk is extremely boring and can suck the life out of a date within a couple of minutes.  Many things can also go wrong  if you don’t particularly like your job, so now the discussion has turned depressing and negative – or you can come off as a conceited douche, both are date killers.

#3 – Your Trip

“Oh it was so beautiful, and the rooms were gorgeous” – who cares.  If it ain’t about you, make it about them.

#4 – Politics or Religion

I’ll give this one a 50% chance of success if you happen to be into the same political party or religious beliefs, but if not – prepare for fireworks, and no call back.

#5 – Mindless drivel

Things such as, but not limited to: weather, traffic, routes you take to work, air travel, personal drama, current affairs etc.

If you want to make a connection on a first date you aren’t going to do it by scraping the surface with worthless small talk.  Ask questions about your date to open them up and see who they really are, if you relate to something then touch on it.  Men on first dates are only supposed to ask questions and keep the female talking for 80% of the date, but they have to be the right ones that get below the surface.

If women find themselves on a date with a guy that only wants to talk about his job and the weather, save the date by asking him questions to take the conversation deeper and more interesting.

Deep conversation is sexy, make it happen!

 

 

 

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What I’ve Learned From Over 35 Online Dates In 6 Months

dating in your 30's

Back when I started online dating I never figured I’d meet so many women, but I have and my goal was to at least try to learn something from it – as it was always in the back of my mind that I probably wouldn’t find a girlfriend from it, so what have I learned?

Some basics of course, online dating sites are literally meat markets and you’re always looking for someone better than who you may even be communicating with at the time.  You may be into the person you’re conversing with, but you’re going to have your feelers out for something better – this goes for both sexes.  The thing I learned is that there never was anyone better, but many that were indeed worse!  After learning this (the hard way) I would only focus on that person, but my stip was that it was one from each dating site.  Girl from Match would see that I hadn’t been online in 3+ days, but meanwhile I was trolling eHarmony, or vice versa, and texting up to 4-5 girls at the same time at various stages of the meet and greet process.

Another important thing is that the person you met online will never be the person you meet in-person.  This is a fact.  Once you can get your head wrapped around that you’ll naturally become open to meeting people who may not have formerly met your online dating standards.  For me, if the picture was good and they had their acts together I’d usually meet them and many times I was pleasantly surprised with whom I was sitting there having a date with.  Some people just can’t digitally express themselves in the same light that they do in real life, or even on the phone.

Of course this backfired in spectacular fashion more than a few times, but that’s ultimately the risks we take when essentially meeting strangers from the internet.

Another important lesson I learned the hard way is that online dating sites are literally filled with people on the re-bound – always ask when their last relationship was before bothering to meet.  Many I asked had just gotten out of long-term relationships less than 3 months prior – and I do not believe anyone is over their ex in such a short period of time.  I’ve even done this in the past!  After the date (which only made me miss my ex even more) I realized I had to take time for myself and I deleted the dating profile.

One more thing is to meet your dates sooner than later and keep chit-chat to a minimum before hand.  If you do this, you’ll actually be meeting a new interesting and attractive person (if their pics are legit) versus “dealing with” someone you’ve just spent 2-3 weeks talking with that isn’t measuring up to what you had envisioned.  It’s really that simple, one or the other – choose to meet the new person that you don’t know much about instead!  The less we knew about each other the better the date was, even if it led nowhere.

Til next time’