The Rebounder

Dating a rebounder

It’s fun when you’ve dated enough to know what’s going to happen, before it happens and when dealing with a rebounder it’s never going to end well.

We met on match – the dating site that automatically renewed me for 3 additional months, when I was planning on taking the summer off from this craziness.  I was free, until I saw my credit card bill.  Ugh.

It starts with a check-in every few days, then responding to messages – and before you know it, you are right back in online dating hell.

We began chatting and everything seemed ok, she was totally normal.  That all came crashing down though when her answer to my question of when her last relationship was came back as “4 months ago”.  Even that turned out to be exaggerated because she had just moved out of their place 2 months ago, where they had lived together for 7 years.

She assured me she was over him, but I am sorry – that is impossible.

I stayed in it because she kept on insisting on coming over to my place – but even I am not that crazy for a first date, so we met half way.  We met in the parking lot and on our way into the bar she put her arm around my waist.  I had known her 10 seconds.

There was also the previous texting, which was also a dead giveaway that I was dealing with a rebounder (in denial).

Rebounders are easy to spot because they are trying to pick-up right where they left off with their ex.  The good morning texts, the deep conversations and apparently the public displays of affection.

After we had a drink at the bar we decided to go for a walk along the waterfront – she was holding my hand within a few minutes.  Who in the hell holds hands on a first date?

There was also lots and lots of kissing – which I enjoyed, but I never truly committed any feelings for her because I knew of the impending collapse.  She had asked to come to my area so we made a date then and there for a few days later.  This was great for me, because it would mean lots of hot sweaty sex.  She texted me when she got home from the date, the next morning, afternoon and night.

However, the day before our date she had gone silent.  Her last message was something along the lines of “Heading back to work now, I’ll text you later xoxoxox”

The next day, nothing.

The day of I sent a simple text, fully knowing she had very likely gone rebounder awol.

“are you still coming?”

Now usually I would never send something like that, but I had another girl asking me if we could meet that night – a very hot girl, that wasn’t on the rebound – so I needed to know.

Nope, not even a response to that.

A day later her dating profile was deleted too.

I make this post for no other reason than to warn you out there – dating sites are clogged with rebounders doing nothing but wasting the time of people who are ready to date and find a relationship so always ask when their last relationship was.  If its been recent or if they have to keep bringing up their ex – they aren’t over them yet.  If they aren’t over them, they aren’t ready to date and its only a matter of time before they figure that out.





The Rebounders…


Over the many women I have met during this online dating tenure I can now sit back and analyze.  Certain patterns were the same with a few that I now realize were simply fresh out of relationships and on the rebound, hard.

The latest hammered my theory home.

She had sent me a note on match, she was gorgeous and I quickly engaged with her.  After a few messages we moved to texting and then set a date for the following Thursday evening.  I would park in her vacant parking spot that was in the underground at her condo and then we’d walk to a nearby place for a drink.

I let her know I had arrived and I awaited her to come downstairs and lead us into the underground parking.  As usual she wasn’t as hot as her picture but she was still very attractive, she hopped in, we parked the car and then made our way to a bar.

It had its (bad feeling) moments at the start but after 15-20 minutes we were deeply conversing, laughing and generally enjoying ourselves – but I still wasn’t sure what she thought.  Although the reddest of red flags popped up during our chat which was “Yeah its easier for you to park at my place, my ex use to park there, so its been vacant for around 2 months”

Ummm – what?

It truly put a damper on things for me but maybe it was a short term relationship or maybe she meant to say 2 years (yeah, right) but I was physically and mentally attracted to her so I didn’t pull the chute.  It started getting late so we decided to head back – me still not 100% sure was into me, but she seemed like it.  As we entered the parking garage we had the “well I really enjoyed myself” + hug which she followed up with “I really hope we can do this again”, which honestly caught me by surprise.  I said of course we could, just next time on a weekend and not a work night to which she agreed, thanked me and we parted.

I sent her a text on Saturday, she replied enthusiastically initially to the first, but not my second text which was a legit question – odd but this girl would go 24 hours sometimes for a reply so I thought nothing of it, then the day after I tried to set something up for the following weekend and was hit back with “I just don’t think we have enough in common to make this work, best wishes”

Her dating profile is also now set to private – met someone else?  Or just not ready to date yet??

Regardless, I’ve seen this behavior from other girls too and it always left me scratching my head on what caused the 180 and I think I found it, they’re on the rebound.