The Doctor

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Literal days after the PR representative of the Happn app e-mailed me wondering if I would like to chat with the Happn Canada head (because of this blog), which I agreed to and had a great conversation with – I met the Dr. – through the app which I had signed up to days before they contacted me.

We had crossed paths around my place.  The app matches you with people you cross paths with within 250 meters.

In our case we assume it was when I was grocery shopping and she was at her next-to-the-grocery-store-dentist.  Crossing paths as the app markets itself might work for mall workers or students, not so much in our case, or anyone that travels by highway, but I’ll take it.

We spent about a day messaging on the app before she gave me her number and we switched to texting.  We quickly had a connection and textemistry – and I even broke my own rules by calling her during one of our textversations – which only made our seriously intense bond grow deeper.

I had to keep telling myself “you’ve done this before, it never ends well, just meet and deal with the fallout”.

I even told her this.

Her being a gorgeous petite brunette, curves in all the right places, a crazy side, a soft side, a super-funny side and everything else required to make me super attracted to her in a devilishly addictive cocktail of attraction.

I set the date at a quiet spot near her on the other side of the city, figuring we’d meet around 7 or maybe 8pm – she shot back with 9:30.

Me: 9:30?

Her: I have to do my hair, is that too late babe?

Me: You don’t have to do your hair all up, really, forget it.

Her: No, I want to look nice for you and I am doing my hair, it takes time.

Me: Ok, 9:30 is fine, I just checked and they are open until 12:00am so no worries.

Her: They are only open until 12?  Aren’t you open all night?

Me: Yes babe, bring PJ’s in case

Her: Should I maybe just come there

Me: Yes you should

(leaving out lots of come and go testing stuff, childs play)

And so it was set, a first date, after much texting and calling was set for my place.  I quickly tidied up and awaited her arrival and potentially a failure of epic proportion.

She called when she was close, I gave her directions to park and told her I would run down to meet her.

As I rounded the corner to see her outside my condo she was in an in-depth conversation with another brunette that was walking her dog.

I thought oh shit, she ran into someone she knows and this is going to be super awkward.  I could tell which one she was but kinda held back as I had no idea what was going on or even how to approach it.

Backstory – She was walking to where I said I would meet her and started petting brunettes dog.  Brunette with dog told her how she had just got home from a date, so she told her she was just going on one.

This was when I arrived.

Brunette with dog said to her “You are meeting at his place for your first date!”

Her:  Ahahaha Yes!

No wonder BWD looked at me so oddly

Regardless, after a quick hello we were headed into my place.

She was absolutely gorgeous, bubbly, high energy and funny.  She also brought me some expensive boxed whiskey which she asked for some because she was nervous and I obliged.

She had told me before she loved horror movies but had nobody to watch them with, so that was the genre we would pick.  We picked a horrible 2 star POS but quickly were wrapped up into each others arms on the couch.

Our physical chemistry beat out the terrible movie and we moved to bed, still clothed, under the covers, cuddling and whispering / kissing about the journey we had taken to get here and how crazy it all was.

She was over again the next day and our connection has only grown stronger. She’s also coming back in the morning after her shift for the 3rd day in a row.

I will be back for updates…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guest Post: How I was an asshole the day before Valentines

So I’ve been relationship single for about a year, had a bounce around but that went to the side. My bud tells me that maybe I should try Match or something, so WTH I ‘giver a shot.

Girl chats me up on there talking how she likes a lot of the stuff I do. Sleds, 4-wheelers etc.

She was pretty cute, my picture was on there too so she knew what I looked like and it was a recent pic. Anyways we agree to meet. I let her know I gotta wake up early to help on a friends farm in the morning and I will have some hydraulic rams for his skidder in the box of my truck.

I agree to take her out to a nice steak house in my area, I am talking $50 tenderloin place and $5 drinks. She knows the place and is all exited saying she went there when she was a kid and knows they have awesome steak and its been a long time, so in my head I am thinking this is gonna go good.

Well she rolls up in a brand new Buick or something all cleaned up and mind you its -20 outside. My PSD (power stroke diesel) is rattling away covered in road salt. So I am feeling like an ass already.

I jump out and say “You ready to get some steak?” She says yes and we start rolling out, its a good 30 minute drive but she starts giving me the clues right away “how shes tired” and “tomorrow is a busy day for her” then starts in with saying opposites of what she liked before……..

So at this time I am just like WTF am I taking this broad out for?  I turn the truck around and start heading back the way we came. I know the side roads so she asks “how far is this place away?” I think she was wondering WTF was going on but she wasn’t gonna say it.  I kept it calm and cool asking about her kid and all that, then about some local racing she liked to watch.

I come in through the backside of where I picked her up and she realizes that were back where I picked her up.

She asks “why are we back here?”
I tell her “since you keep saying how you’re tired and you got a big day tomorrow I think I am just gonna make sure you get the sleep you need and get a good start for tomorrow”.

She looks right at me, with some evil eyes and opens the door and gets out.

I leave and go to the steakhouse that I was gonna take her to.  Spent the money I was going to spend on her on Captain and Root beers.

A Male Bumble Review

Welcome to bumble

I know that I said I hated free dating apps and sites, but a few days ago I bit the bullet and downloaded Bumble.  I also had to make a dummy Facebook account because I tossed my original one into the trash 5 years ago.

For those that don’t know, its a swipe app and after you are matched, the woman has to reply first within 24hrs of matching, and we have to reply back within 24hrs or you lose your shot.

Observation #1 is that almost all of the girls on it are beautiful – my initial run through had me literally trying to find ones that weren’t right-swipe worthy, and it was hard.  But I digress, looks alone are great in your 20’s but I desire a wee bit more than that in my 30’s and unless they tell you about themselves in the short bio, you are left to go off nothing but looks, location, age and (optional) career + education.

How about height?  I am 6 foot and don’t want to swipe on anyone taller.

Religion? I love and celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays and its an instant deal breaker if you don’t.

Body type?  Self explanatory.

The other issue here is the widely discussed algorithm they have in place for men.  When I first signed up and started swiping I got about 5 or 6 matches and was messaged by 3 ladies.  Pretty normal I thought, until later on I realized I had swiped hundreds of profiles and the matches all but stopped – and I wanted to know why so I did some digging.

Basically, new male members are sent to the bottom of the barrel and have to work their way up to be shown to the more popular members based on how many right swipes we get over time.  I assume the first batch of matches I got was a little taste of the top to convince me to not insta-delete the app out of frustration.  From my research other men experienced the same thing right after signing up.

Fair enough I thought, over a week or so I should have generated enough right swipes to be “in the show” but even this was flawed.  Apparently many men right swipe everyone which in-turn makes almost every right swipe for women a match which bogs down the entire system.  It could be weeks or months before a girl I right-swiped on today even comes across my profile.

I’ve also scrolled though at least 15 previous dates hanging out on here so this has been like a reunion, with a left swipe adios.

I am at 4 days in and I get 1, maybe 2 matches a day and I have pretty much stopped swiping so it can catch up.  Oh, I take it you have noticed the image up there – here’s another

It’s not just guys……

UPDATE: 4/15/17

I am now finally getting quality matches, I assume I qualified to Bumbles standards?  Women I match with tend to message within the hour or not at all.  I will updated later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mrs Red Flag City

She had sent me a message on match but her profile only had one picture and it wasn’t of her – it was of an ocean.  I quickly told her I need to see what she looks like – she says she took them all down due to receiving “weird messages from men”.

That was the first red flag.

She uploads a blurry head shot, then a couple more showing her very nice body, I am game.  So we start chatting.  She had been through a (I assume rough) divorce 2-3 years prior and told me she had taken quite a bit of time to heal and get her mojo back, which is understandable.  We seem to gel pretty well, so I go for the date and she shoots me down!  She says she had her tonsils pulled 3 weeks ago and she’s still healing from that!

There’s the second red flag.

Our slew of messages has now deteriorated to maybe one a day as I have no idea what this chicks deal is, but she continues to send messages – now asking things you ask in person.  Personality types, what am I looking for, where do I see myself in 5 years type questions.  I send a sly answer and firmly ask again for the meet and she agrees.  I tell her I’ll find a nice spot at the half way point and she likes the idea.

I find a really nice, quiet cafe, booth style seating, nice ambiance – perfect for a first date, but remember what I am dealing with.

Yeah – she said that wasn’t going to work as she used to live in the area (big town with a population of 200,000) and she was fearful of running into someone she knows, and asks if I can pick another spot in the next town over.

3rd red flag, you’re outta here!

I told her this was never going to work, she had way too many rules and restrictions – among whatever the hell else was causing her to act like that.

Wanna know what she responded with?

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Someone needs to heed their own advice.

The end.

 

The Fall Fling

We met on match the last go-round back in the early fall of 2016 – it was during my last week on the site before a long wanted break.  She was blonde, nicely built, act together – own house, new car, good job etc.  I drove to her town which was about 40 mins west of the GTA to meet at a restaurant for tapas and drinks (you can never go wrong with tapas, gents).

She showed up looking hot in a nice dress and sun glasses – and we quickly got along.

After eating I shot for the usual “wanna go for a walk?” and off we went.  We then ended up sitting on a bench talking about our teen and 20’s jobs – comparing who had done more.  I won, barely – then either she or I suggested going for a drive – both not about to cut this short.  I use to live in the area and know all the back-roads and hidden gems – but she directed us back to her place first.  She gave me a nice tour of her extremely well decorated home before we hopped in her car and headed out for our country drive.

I knew of a cool lake-side marina / restaurant so that was our first stop and it blew her away – mainly because of its proximity to her home and she had no idea it even existed.  We had a couple of drinks and were soon back on our tour.

I had high hopes but as she got more comfortable with me, she began opening up too much and too soon.  Her family issues, hating her father and not caring when he died, renting a room to a college kid and the issues with that, her mother, sister, multiple work issues – the negativity started way too soon and started dripping water on the small flame that had literally just started two hours ago between us.

It was in the midst of this and our tour that we cut it short and pointed the stern back towards her place.  We got there, said our farewells and I headed home.

As I drove I didn’t really know what to think – but I was for sure going to give her another shot, hoping the negative ramblings would end in the future.  Prior girls had hinted at issues on first dates before – but nothing like that unloading.

We were quickly in-touch again and she said dinner was on her, back in her town – I was game.  I picked her up and we went to a very nice old little house that had been converted to a restaurant.  We sat at  a table for two in the backyard dodging falling acorns, which was funny.  It was a very nice time.

Then we ended up back at her place – and within minutes in her bed.  We left dinner around 9pm and I was headed home when we were done around 2am. Holy shit was she loud – no word of a lie she woke the entire block and when I mentioned it, she didn’t even care (lol).  I only left purely to avoid the morning rush – at around 6am the normal 40 min drive home would turn into 2 or 3 hours and she had to work in the morning anyway.

We set the next date at my place – for Friday night – and then we would spend the long weekend together leaving the next day on a road trip to a lake Huron beach / party town.  We had fun at my place going for a nice waterfront waltz and then  making poutine together.

The next day we set out on our 3-4 hour drive, stopping for food at road-side greasy spoons and grabbing snacks at bakery’s before  getting there just in time to grab the last available hotel room in the entire town.

We then went to the beach where she swam and I managed to get burnt to a crisp before heading back into the town to buy booze, head back to the room, order pizza and spend time in the hot tub and pool together.  At the beach I did abruptly remind her to stop talking about work bullshit and to enjoy the moment – she gave me a deer in the headlights look initially, but quickly agreed and was on-board.

We spent the rest of the night between the hot tub / pool and hanging out on the patio drinking and eating pizza outside the sliding glass door behind our room – and having intense, extremely loud sex sprinkled in-between.

That drunken night we had a bit of a spat – I said I didn’t like her negativity and she yelled at me saying it hurt her to say that – so I nipped it in the bud, hoping she would too.

I then knew this was just a fling – I loved the fun we were having but long-term this thing wasn’t happening – we were simply incompatible.  Things like this are fun – but facing each other on Monday morning in the real world??  Whatever it was I had checked out.

The next morning we headed home, me thinking home too, but she insisted we just go back to her place again for the night.  Being done with it, I was a little uneasy staying another night – but I went with it (my car was still at my place).  We stopped for groceries and bought ingredients to make tacos.

-enter another multi hour session-

In the morning I drove back to my place, gave her a kiss, hopped out and I watched her drive away.

How do I get out of this??

Easy – she peppered me with more emotional texts asking for drives to places over an hour away during working hours “I thought I could count on you” etc.  I simply told her we are incompatible – I had fun, but this is done.  She sent many texts back thanking me for not leading her on, she could slow down if I wanted etc. Called and left messages..

Even a month later.

We had technically only been on 5 dates – I’d be cool with it under other circumstances – and I am leaving lots out but I am not here to bash people.

We were just not a match.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Hot Pants

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I am a sucker for girls that wear shiny tight black leggings, big time, and when she walked in wearing them I couldn’t have been happier.  I ordered a beer, she wine and then we shared a huge plate of nachos and cheese.  I had big plans for this one, but nearing the end of the date she told me how she absolutely does NOT kiss on a first date and how she had squirmed away from the last guy that tried.

Ugh.  Structured.

“Maybe the cheek”

I won’t say the conversation was all that great, all she really talked about was her mundane job (in an attempt to glorify)  and she had a really low overall energy about herself.  I did manage to make her laugh and loosen up but she was low energy at the core.  I also didn’t get to indulge in her hot-pant glory as we were in a booth and she never got up – so I knew what to plan for date #2 after giving her a peck on the cheek at the end of date #1.

We would play pool!

I set the date up at a pool hall / bar / grille in an attempt to make things more upbeat and active as 2nd dates should be, my hopes were soon dashed.

She showed up looking like she hadn’t slept, or dare I say showered in a week.  Her done up hair legit looked greasy.    All pool tables were being used so we were once again stuck in a booth with her going on and on about her job while nearly putting me to sleep.

Conversation sputtered along until I got the bill and we left.  In both cases her uber driver showed up within seconds killing my end date kissing game, but I did manage to plant one on her willing lips at the end, but I knew this one was D.O.A.

The next day I received a text thanking me for the nachos but she wasn’t feeling the mutual chemistry that we should be at this point and I was quick to agree with her.  I love not having to be the schmuck – and wished her all the best.

Without her telling me of her structured rules I would have kissed her passionately, or at least tried, at the end of date #1 and only one of two things would have happened.  She would have enjoyed it, or cheeked me.  If she enjoyed it, date #2 would have been much more interesting and if she cheeked me it would have been over right then and there.

 

Guest Post: Why Over 30 Is The Best Age For Serious Relationships

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Age is a strange thing. In your younger years you may feel so sure of what you want in a relationship and who you are, and you certainly have the energy to persue what you want and to get it. Though, as you move up through your twenties, something happens.
Nasty relationships, financial struggles and an awakening to the nature of the world may shake your confidence; you may become jaded and certain that dating is a waste of your time; or you may get so wrapped up in your professional career that you don’t take the time to foster those social skills which work to put you out there to prove your worth to the opposite sex.
Whatever the reason, dating through your twenties can be quite rocky, especially as you edge closer to your thirties while watching your friends getting picked off one by one by that special someone they have chosen to settle down with.
There is hope, and far more of it than you would think. The fact of the matter is that when you turn thirty, the dating world becomes clearer to navigate, less daunting than it ever was in your twenties, and far more rewarding than you could ever have imagined it would be.

You have a better idea of who you are

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I struggle with the notion of young love, or love at first site. I acquaint these ideals with a sense of nativity that is often associated with youth. Chemistry between two people can come about for a number of reasons, and love and attraction are not always on the list.
There is a tendency in your youth to choose dating partners based on their aesthetic qualities, seeking perfection in beauty without considering whether you have something to offer in return for this or not. The truth is, when you are in your twenties, you likely don’t yet have the financial security and personal confidence required to prove your worth, something which seems to change dramatically when you hit your thirties.
Life’s challenges will make you more attune to who you are, where you are going and what you have to offer. The confidence this brings makes it easier to put yourself out there and makes communicating with women far more natural and easier to do, making the dating game far less terrifying.

You know what you want

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By your thirties, you have likely gone through scores of breakups and dealt with flings and girlfriends who were prime examples of what you didn’t need in your life. Each of these incidences have had something to teach you.
You now know what you want in a woman beyond a buxom bosom, smooth skin and an exceptional bedside manner. You now know what a potential partner should bring to your life beyond immediate attraction.

Is she self-centered? Can she engage you in intelligent conversations? Does she compliment your personality? Questions like these can only really be answered once you have sifted through the fun-girls of your twenties and realized why they weren’t right for you.

You’ve played all the bitter games and so has she

By the time you hit your thirties, you have likely been jaded by scores of failed relationships and behavior unbecoming of a human. Silly childish games, unwarranted jealousy and infidelity can all be attributed to the folly of youth.
By the time you hit your thirties, however, you have played each variety of these relational games for dominance, meaning you can spot them from a mile away and move on without wasting your time.

Author Bio:
Mark Greene of Mens Axis is a lifestyle professional writer and digital nomad with a keen interest in men’s mental and physical health, life hacks, grooming, men’s fashion, sex, dating, career and overall day to day solutions for men. The world, according to him, is what you make of it. So go out there and make it amazing.

Guest Post: How to Create a Lasting Impression

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In a sea of dudes, how can you stand out from the other fish? Attractive women are used to getting approached and are tired of the same old tactics. From using the cocky approach to going for flattery, it’s all been done before. Think about it: are you guilty of using the same lame strategies and openers? Not to worry buddy. Here are some ways to switch up your game.

Nail your Look

If you think appearing pompous and successful is the key to luring women, you’re missing the single most important ingredient—your look. Many guys set the bar pretty low, mistaking a plaid shirt and a beard as an excuse for style. Sorry, but unless your Dan Bilzerian, you can’t get away with it.

To make a good first impression, wear a black V-neck. Why so specific? Well, it’s probably the most universally flattering shirt for guys. Other than that, make sure you’re freshly showered, well-groomed and smell awesome.

Be Interesting to Grab her Attention

Women are suckers for witty banter. It gives them a chance to feel like they’re clever and increases their curiosity about you. The interplay of sarcasm and flirtation brings you closer together, creating a fun experience that takes the pressure off.

You can develop this exciting interaction by asking her a probing question. Something simple like, “Do you play Pokemon Go?” This will entice her to answer and engage with you. If you can make her laugh, that’s a bonus! Laughter and deep conversation is a powerful recipe for an unforgettable moment.

The ability to capture her attention is especially vital when seducing women through dating apps. Although women on apps like Tinder and POF are usually easy prey, you’ll need to work harder for those dames on higher-quality apps like Match or Who Winked Me.

Be Social and Likeable

Like Van Wilder, you should always exude strong feel-good vibes, so that every lady wants a piece of you. Women can instantly sniff out the big boy on campus and it’ll boost your attractiveness level tenfold. The only question is how well do you impress those around you?

A great way to be impressive in a social setting is to show off your connections and friends—you’ll demonstrate likeability, making you more attractive to her. She’ll feed off your confidence like a piranha because most women are insecure and are hungry for approval. So, you be the guy to give her that satisfaction. Right this way, missy…

Be Authoritative

Women love manly men— it’s pretty much locked in their female DNA. The appearance of self-certainty and inner strength demonstrates power, which is like a drug for attraction.

Yet, this quality should not be confused with arrogance. We’re not talking about being smug, but rather secure and independent. Women are less likely to forget about the guy who shows true authority because it’s so desirable. On an instinctual level, they perceive these qualities to mean you’re a good protector and love maker—someone they’ll definitely want to give their number to.

These techniques far exceed anything you’ve ever been taught about game-play. They work on a genuine level, creating a lasting impression to close the deal, locked and sealed. Try incorporating these strategies for the next time you meet a woman you really want. Good luck.

Setting Your Dating Standards

Setting-Standards

Date anyone that shows interest and it’ll lead to disappointment.  Date anyone with a few weak stipulations added by yourself over time, and it’ll still lead to disappointment.

Deep down you know what it is that you want  – and more importantly what you DON’T want.  So do this, grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  On the right put down what you want, and on the left put down what you will NOT put up with.

Don’t hold back either and go full detail – eye color, height, career, income, weight, body type, beliefs, personality type/traits, family values, education – whatever you want – this is where you reel in the knowledge learned from past relationships to do better in the future.

Get it all out and on paper – and then post it on your fridge, or somewhere where you will see it every. single. day.

Burn that shit into your brain – this is essential.

When you see one of these beings out in the wild or online you will make a conscious effort to get yourself in front of them, because they are rare and special.

We are of a generation that has the most choice and selection for a wife or husband than ever before  due to technology- embrace it and be smart about it.

To get what you want and know you deserve is your birthright, go get it.