The Doctor

-No image available, couldn’t find a hot female Dr image that was as hot as her-

Literal days after the PR representative of the Happn app e-mailed me wondering if I would like to chat with the Happn Canada head (because of this blog), which I agreed to and had a great conversation with – I met the Dr. – through the app which I had signed up to days before they contacted me.

We had crossed paths around my place.  The app matches you with people you cross paths with within 250 meters.

In our case we assume it was when I was grocery shopping and she was at her next-to-the-grocery-store-dentist.  Crossing paths as the app markets itself might work for mall workers or students, not so much in our case, or anyone that travels by highway, but I’ll take it.

We spent about a day messaging on the app before she gave me her number and we switched to texting.  We quickly had a connection and textemistry – and I even broke my own rules by calling her during one of our textversations – which only made our seriously intense bond grow deeper.

I had to keep telling myself “you’ve done this before, it never ends well, just meet and deal with the fallout”.

I even told her this.

Her being a gorgeous petite brunette, curves in all the right places, a crazy side, a soft side, a super-funny side and everything else required to make me super attracted to her in a devilishly addictive cocktail of attraction.

I set the date at a quiet spot near her on the other side of the city, figuring we’d meet around 7 or maybe 8pm – she shot back with 9:30.

Me: 9:30?

Her: I have to do my hair, is that too late babe?

Me: You don’t have to do your hair all up, really, forget it.

Her: No, I want to look nice for you and I am doing my hair, it takes time.

Me: Ok, 9:30 is fine, I just checked and they are open until 12:00am so no worries.

Her: They are only open until 12?  Aren’t you open all night?

Me: Yes babe, bring PJ’s in case

Her: Should I maybe just come there

Me: Yes you should

(leaving out lots of come and go testing stuff, childs play)

And so it was set, a first date, after much texting and calling was set for my place.  I quickly tidied up and awaited her arrival and potentially a failure of epic proportion.

She called when she was close, I gave her directions to park and told her I would run down to meet her.

As I rounded the corner to see her outside my condo she was in an in-depth conversation with another brunette that was walking her dog.

I thought oh shit, she ran into someone she knows and this is going to be super awkward.  I could tell which one she was but kinda held back as I had no idea what was going on or even how to approach it.

Backstory – She was walking to where I said I would meet her and started petting brunettes dog.  Brunette with dog told her how she had just got home from a date, so she told her she was just going on one.

This was when I arrived.

Brunette with dog said to her “You are meeting at his place for your first date!”

Her:  Ahahaha Yes!

No wonder BWD looked at me so oddly

Regardless, after a quick hello we were headed into my place.

She was absolutely gorgeous, bubbly, high energy and funny.  She also brought me some expensive boxed whiskey which she asked for some because she was nervous and I obliged.

She had told me before she loved horror movies but had nobody to watch them with, so that was the genre we would pick.  We picked a horrible 2 star POS but quickly were wrapped up into each others arms on the couch.

Our physical chemistry beat out the terrible movie and we moved to bed, still clothed, under the covers, cuddling and whispering / kissing about the journey we had taken to get here and how crazy it all was.

She was over again the next day and our connection has only grown stronger. She’s also coming back in the morning after her shift for the 3rd day in a row.

I will be back for updates…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guest Post: How I was an asshole the day before Valentines

So I’ve been relationship single for about a year, had a bounce around but that went to the side. My bud tells me that maybe I should try Match or something, so WTH I ‘giver a shot.

Girl chats me up on there talking how she likes a lot of the stuff I do. Sleds, 4-wheelers etc.

She was pretty cute, my picture was on there too so she knew what I looked like and it was a recent pic. Anyways we agree to meet. I let her know I gotta wake up early to help on a friends farm in the morning and I will have some hydraulic rams for his skidder in the box of my truck.

I agree to take her out to a nice steak house in my area, I am talking $50 tenderloin place and $5 drinks. She knows the place and is all exited saying she went there when she was a kid and knows they have awesome steak and its been a long time, so in my head I am thinking this is gonna go good.

Well she rolls up in a brand new Buick or something all cleaned up and mind you its -20 outside. My PSD (power stroke diesel) is rattling away covered in road salt. So I am feeling like an ass already.

I jump out and say “You ready to get some steak?” She says yes and we start rolling out, its a good 30 minute drive but she starts giving me the clues right away “how shes tired” and “tomorrow is a busy day for her” then starts in with saying opposites of what she liked before……..

So at this time I am just like WTF am I taking this broad out for?  I turn the truck around and start heading back the way we came. I know the side roads so she asks “how far is this place away?” I think she was wondering WTF was going on but she wasn’t gonna say it.  I kept it calm and cool asking about her kid and all that, then about some local racing she liked to watch.

I come in through the backside of where I picked her up and she realizes that were back where I picked her up.

She asks “why are we back here?”
I tell her “since you keep saying how you’re tired and you got a big day tomorrow I think I am just gonna make sure you get the sleep you need and get a good start for tomorrow”.

She looks right at me, with some evil eyes and opens the door and gets out.

I leave and go to the steakhouse that I was gonna take her to.  Spent the money I was going to spend on her on Captain and Root beers.

A Male Bumble Review

Welcome to bumble

I know that I said I hated free dating apps and sites, but a few days ago I bit the bullet and downloaded Bumble.  I also had to make a dummy Facebook account because I tossed my original one into the trash 5 years ago.

For those that don’t know, its a swipe app and after you are matched, the woman has to reply first within 24hrs of matching, and we have to reply back within 24hrs or you lose your shot.

Observation #1 is that almost all of the girls on it are beautiful – my initial run through had me literally trying to find ones that weren’t right-swipe worthy, and it was hard.  But I digress, looks alone are great in your 20’s but I desire a wee bit more than that in my 30’s and unless they tell you about themselves in the short bio, you are left to go off nothing but looks, location, age and (optional) career + education.

How about height?  I am 6 foot and don’t want to swipe on anyone taller.

Religion? I love and celebrate Christmas and other Christian holidays and its an instant deal breaker if you don’t.

Body type?  Self explanatory.

The other issue here is the widely discussed algorithm they have in place for men.  When I first signed up and started swiping I got about 5 or 6 matches and was messaged by 3 ladies.  Pretty normal I thought, until later on I realized I had swiped hundreds of profiles and the matches all but stopped – and I wanted to know why so I did some digging.

Basically, new male members are sent to the bottom of the barrel and have to work their way up to be shown to the more popular members based on how many right swipes we get over time.  I assume the first batch of matches I got was a little taste of the top to convince me to not insta-delete the app out of frustration.  From my research other men experienced the same thing right after signing up.

Fair enough I thought, over a week or so I should have generated enough right swipes to be “in the show” but even this was flawed.  Apparently many men right swipe everyone which in-turn makes almost every right swipe for women a match which bogs down the entire system.  It could be weeks or months before a girl I right-swiped on today even comes across my profile.

I’ve also scrolled though at least 15 previous dates hanging out on here so this has been like a reunion, with a left swipe adios.

I am at 4 days in and I get 1, maybe 2 matches a day and I have pretty much stopped swiping so it can catch up.  Oh, I take it you have noticed the image up there – here’s another

It’s not just guys……

UPDATE: 4/15/17

I am now finally getting quality matches, I assume I qualified to Bumbles standards?  Women I match with tend to message within the hour or not at all.  I will updated later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mrs Red Flag City

She had sent me a message on match but her profile only had one picture and it wasn’t of her – it was of an ocean.  I quickly told her I need to see what she looks like – she says she took them all down due to receiving “weird messages from men”.

That was the first red flag.

She uploads a blurry head shot, then a couple more showing her very nice body, I am game.  So we start chatting.  She had been through a (I assume rough) divorce 2-3 years prior and told me she had taken quite a bit of time to heal and get her mojo back, which is understandable.  We seem to gel pretty well, so I go for the date and she shoots me down!  She says she had her tonsils pulled 3 weeks ago and she’s still healing from that!

There’s the second red flag.

Our slew of messages has now deteriorated to maybe one a day as I have no idea what this chicks deal is, but she continues to send messages – now asking things you ask in person.  Personality types, what am I looking for, where do I see myself in 5 years type questions.  I send a sly answer and firmly ask again for the meet and she agrees.  I tell her I’ll find a nice spot at the half way point and she likes the idea.

I find a really nice, quiet cafe, booth style seating, nice ambiance – perfect for a first date, but remember what I am dealing with.

Yeah – she said that wasn’t going to work as she used to live in the area (big town with a population of 200,000) and she was fearful of running into someone she knows, and asks if I can pick another spot in the next town over.

3rd red flag, you’re outta here!

I told her this was never going to work, she had way too many rules and restrictions – among whatever the hell else was causing her to act like that.

Wanna know what she responded with?

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Someone needs to heed their own advice.

The end.

 

The Fall Fling

We met on match the last go-round back in the early fall of 2016 – it was during my last week on the site before a long wanted break.  She was blonde, nicely built, act together – own house, new car, good job etc.  I drove to her town which was about 40 mins west of the GTA to meet at a restaurant for tapas and drinks (you can never go wrong with tapas, gents).

She showed up looking hot in a nice dress and sun glasses – and we quickly got along.

After eating I shot for the usual “wanna go for a walk?” and off we went.  We then ended up sitting on a bench talking about our teen and 20’s jobs – comparing who had done more.  I won, barely – then either she or I suggested going for a drive – both not about to cut this short.  I use to live in the area and know all the back-roads and hidden gems – but she directed us back to her place first.  She gave me a nice tour of her extremely well decorated home before we hopped in her car and headed out for our country drive.

I knew of a cool lake-side marina / restaurant so that was our first stop and it blew her away – mainly because of its proximity to her home and she had no idea it even existed.  We had a couple of drinks and were soon back on our tour.

I had high hopes but as she got more comfortable with me, she began opening up too much and too soon.  Her family issues, hating her father and not caring when he died, renting a room to a college kid and the issues with that, her mother, sister, multiple work issues – the negativity started way too soon and started dripping water on the small flame that had literally just started two hours ago between us.

It was in the midst of this and our tour that we cut it short and pointed the stern back towards her place.  We got there, said our farewells and I headed home.

As I drove I didn’t really know what to think – but I was for sure going to give her another shot, hoping the negative ramblings would end in the future.  Prior girls had hinted at issues on first dates before – but nothing like that unloading.

We were quickly in-touch again and she said dinner was on her, back in her town – I was game.  I picked her up and we went to a very nice old little house that had been converted to a restaurant.  We sat at  a table for two in the backyard dodging falling acorns, which was funny.  It was a very nice time.

Then we ended up back at her place – and within minutes in her bed.  We left dinner around 9pm and I was headed home when we were done around 2am. Holy shit was she loud – no word of a lie she woke the entire block and when I mentioned it, she didn’t even care (lol).  I only left purely to avoid the morning rush – at around 6am the normal 40 min drive home would turn into 2 or 3 hours and she had to work in the morning anyway.

We set the next date at my place – for Friday night – and then we would spend the long weekend together leaving the next day on a road trip to a lake Huron beach / party town.  We had fun at my place going for a nice waterfront waltz and then  making poutine together.

The next day we set out on our 3-4 hour drive, stopping for food at road-side greasy spoons and grabbing snacks at bakery’s before  getting there just in time to grab the last available hotel room in the entire town.

We then went to the beach where she swam and I managed to get burnt to a crisp before heading back into the town to buy booze, head back to the room, order pizza and spend time in the hot tub and pool together.  At the beach I did abruptly remind her to stop talking about work bullshit and to enjoy the moment – she gave me a deer in the headlights look initially, but quickly agreed and was on-board.

We spent the rest of the night between the hot tub / pool and hanging out on the patio drinking and eating pizza outside the sliding glass door behind our room – and having intense, extremely loud sex sprinkled in-between.

That drunken night we had a bit of a spat – I said I didn’t like her negativity and she yelled at me saying it hurt her to say that – so I nipped it in the bud, hoping she would too.

I then knew this was just a fling – I loved the fun we were having but long-term this thing wasn’t happening – we were simply incompatible.  Things like this are fun – but facing each other on Monday morning in the real world??  Whatever it was I had checked out.

The next morning we headed home, me thinking home too, but she insisted we just go back to her place again for the night.  Being done with it, I was a little uneasy staying another night – but I went with it (my car was still at my place).  We stopped for groceries and bought ingredients to make tacos.

-enter another multi hour session-

In the morning I drove back to my place, gave her a kiss, hopped out and I watched her drive away.

How do I get out of this??

Easy – she peppered me with more emotional texts asking for drives to places over an hour away during working hours “I thought I could count on you” etc.  I simply told her we are incompatible – I had fun, but this is done.  She sent many texts back thanking me for not leading her on, she could slow down if I wanted etc. Called and left messages..

Even a month later.

We had technically only been on 5 dates – I’d be cool with it under other circumstances – and I am leaving lots out but I am not here to bash people.

We were just not a match.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Types Of Toronto Women

The landed world traveler

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She literally landed from you-name-it within months or even weeks.  Australia, anywhere in Europe, Asia, middle east, helping starving kids in Africa, whatever else and even next door US.  She has many stories, nothing crazy, but has chosen Toronto to settle and start a family.  Except it’s not that simple honey.  I am usually one of their first realizations to this – never the last.  I avoid them now as they are usually worse than re-bounders with their false timelines and expectations.  This person lives in a bubble.

The Lawyer

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Oh the lawyers.  From recent grads to juniors and  law firm partners, I’ve met them all on dates.  It’s funny too, as the partner is far more relaxed and open than the junior is.  Almost all agree that they bit off more than they could chew and seriously hate the job.

The born and bred city girl

(KIKA) - BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton non riesce proprio a passare inosservata. La bionda ereditiera anche durante una passeggiata a Beverly Hills non ha rinunciato a sfoggiare un look glamour composto abbinando un miniabito nero ai collant, stampati come fossero un paio di autoreggenti, in tinta con il giubbino e le scarpe di vernice dal tacco alto. Per completare il tutto Paris Hilton ha abbinato un bauletto argentato della sua collezione e i grandi occhiali da sole griffati Prada. *** Local Caption ***

Not many dates with this one, they tend to repent me.  I grew up bouncing between south western Ontario and Muskoka, a “country boy” if you will and the city chicks don’t jive with it, nor do I with them. Include Oakville.

 

The non city girl

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This is the one I have the best success with – All surrounding towns and cities are open season, as close as Milton to the west, Pickering to the east and Bradford to the north.  They are so much more real, legit and free.  Canadian country boys also have a deep unknown bond and connection with southern girls from the US that needs further exploration.

The work bitch

Business Communication - Angry Woman

When I moved to the city back in 2008 I couldn’t fathom the amount of workplace back stabbing, bullshit and distrust among people in the corporate workforce.  And after a few years you could pin it on one or a few bitches.  I’d call them out on their bs routinely – these are deeply disturbed idiots acting out and disrupting  entire companies.  Anyone that has worked in an office knows who I am talking about.

That aside – they are also single and dating (imagine my surprise).  The feeling is weird when the work bitch from another company is now in hot pursuit of you.  Remember opposites attract, or better sense, polarity attracts.  They usually have severe daddy issues, bang on the first date and stalk when you don’t call back, you’ve been warned.

 

 

 

 

 

The Curvy Blonde

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We met for a coffee in her part of the city and while our conversation flowed nicely, I wasn’t sure if I was all that attracted to her.  After coffee we went to another spot for food before I dropped her off.  A few days later she called me and asked if I would like to see her again – I said sure and set a time that I would pick her up and we would drive around and find a spot to chill at.

The reason I was more or less open to a 2nd date with her was because she stayed all covered up during the 1st and I really had no idea of what type of body she had and I wanted to see the goods.

Date day arrives and I drive to pick her up, meeting her at her front door.  We drove to a busy part of the city, parked the car and walked until we found a weird little hipster paradise that managed to screw up simple bacon and eggs.  Highlight moment was when she managed to spray her entire front-side with hot sauce while trying to get it to come out of the bottle – it looked like a crime scene and smelled absolutely horrid.

After eating (and her cleaning herself up with 400 napkins and a few trips to the ladies room) we left to go for another walk but soon ended up back at her place.

We had tea and watched TV but she made it clear that her bedroom was strictly off limits!  We kissed and played around before I called it a day and went home – knowing I wouldn’t be seeing her again.  She had a very structured vibe about herself and a little controlling which I don’t like.

She texted a few times before I told her there just wasn’t enough chemistry – just not enough click.  She rebutted that clearly all I wanted was sex and I just deleted the message.  No, I don’t go out on two dates with you, pay for everything all in the weak attempt to “use you” for sex.  If I wanted that I would have met her again, but I am not here to waste anyones time, including my own.

 

 

Guest Post: Why Over 30 Is The Best Age For Serious Relationships

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Age is a strange thing. In your younger years you may feel so sure of what you want in a relationship and who you are, and you certainly have the energy to persue what you want and to get it. Though, as you move up through your twenties, something happens.
Nasty relationships, financial struggles and an awakening to the nature of the world may shake your confidence; you may become jaded and certain that dating is a waste of your time; or you may get so wrapped up in your professional career that you don’t take the time to foster those social skills which work to put you out there to prove your worth to the opposite sex.
Whatever the reason, dating through your twenties can be quite rocky, especially as you edge closer to your thirties while watching your friends getting picked off one by one by that special someone they have chosen to settle down with.
There is hope, and far more of it than you would think. The fact of the matter is that when you turn thirty, the dating world becomes clearer to navigate, less daunting than it ever was in your twenties, and far more rewarding than you could ever have imagined it would be.

You have a better idea of who you are

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I struggle with the notion of young love, or love at first site. I acquaint these ideals with a sense of nativity that is often associated with youth. Chemistry between two people can come about for a number of reasons, and love and attraction are not always on the list.
There is a tendency in your youth to choose dating partners based on their aesthetic qualities, seeking perfection in beauty without considering whether you have something to offer in return for this or not. The truth is, when you are in your twenties, you likely don’t yet have the financial security and personal confidence required to prove your worth, something which seems to change dramatically when you hit your thirties.
Life’s challenges will make you more attune to who you are, where you are going and what you have to offer. The confidence this brings makes it easier to put yourself out there and makes communicating with women far more natural and easier to do, making the dating game far less terrifying.

You know what you want

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By your thirties, you have likely gone through scores of breakups and dealt with flings and girlfriends who were prime examples of what you didn’t need in your life. Each of these incidences have had something to teach you.
You now know what you want in a woman beyond a buxom bosom, smooth skin and an exceptional bedside manner. You now know what a potential partner should bring to your life beyond immediate attraction.

Is she self-centered? Can she engage you in intelligent conversations? Does she compliment your personality? Questions like these can only really be answered once you have sifted through the fun-girls of your twenties and realized why they weren’t right for you.

You’ve played all the bitter games and so has she

By the time you hit your thirties, you have likely been jaded by scores of failed relationships and behavior unbecoming of a human. Silly childish games, unwarranted jealousy and infidelity can all be attributed to the folly of youth.
By the time you hit your thirties, however, you have played each variety of these relational games for dominance, meaning you can spot them from a mile away and move on without wasting your time.

Author Bio:
Mark Greene of Mens Axis is a lifestyle professional writer and digital nomad with a keen interest in men’s mental and physical health, life hacks, grooming, men’s fashion, sex, dating, career and overall day to day solutions for men. The world, according to him, is what you make of it. So go out there and make it amazing.

My Very First Online Date (2002)

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I was 22, wasting youth like you don’t even know, working night shift at a factory.  I bought my first cell phone, a brick-like thing, almost as heavy as one.

I ran three machines, from 11pm – 7am.  It was a huge factory, but there were only 10 of us on the night “crew”.   I literally pushed buttons to start each machine, in a circle, then wait for 5 minutes until they finished and needed to be re-filled – all night, every night.

Gun drills they were, these little tubes of knurled-end steel would eventually end up as column shifters in Ford and Chevy pick-ups.

A mindless, boring gig – that you do before you know where your life is heading.

This was when I pulled this “brick” phone out of my pocket and started exploring.  It had an “internet games” button.  Once in there, besides the stupid games there was a “chat” option – so in I went.  It was actually pretty cool – it was like Twitter, but you could make your own group or discussion topic and others would pile in.

Remember, this was a phone without a qwerty – to type out a message you had to use the numbers – press #2 twice for B, #9  once for W, #7 four times for S.  Sounds hard, but it became second nature and I could bang out sentences almost as fast as I can today…

Wasn’t long before I was part of a semi-local clique, and for some reason this chat group attracted Toronto strippers like magnets.  I guess they too would dive into their phones after a dance, when claps were sparse and the room was empty – but it became an addiction for them.  I’d do overtime shifts, Saturday nights and they’d be on there even more.

Anyways…

There was an outspoken member Superm0del 

Very funny, up to chat about anything and frankly, just super cool.  At first I thought this was some whale – or worse – an old man, using the name to generate attention – no pictures here folks, you mailed them to your suitor.

Turns out she had recently quit peeling on the Toronto circuit and was back living at home trying to get her shit together.  Another member of the group barked at me “she looks like Cameron Diaz, she isn’t a pig”

She actually looked better than Diaz…

And I still have the Polaroid she sent me – I just spent 10 minutes looking and can’t find it, think big titted blonde surrounded by juice heads in a bar, and you’re close.  I’ll post it on Twitter when I find it.

Our convos started as banter  but we eventually fell for each other, one day my first name preceded Superm0del in her screen name.  That meant lust back then.

Meanwhile, we were committing the biggest sin ever – falling in love over text before meeting.

Eventually we arranged a meet, somehow I got her to drive an hour to me and we met beside a phone booth at a gas station, to where she was lost and I drove to find her.  She was hot, but a bimbo for sure – big boobs, big hair, make up, tight jeans, heels….

I loved what I saw, she didn’t reciprocate – I was a thin, malnourished, poorly dressed, pale, inexperienced, been hanging out from 11pm-7am in a factory for the past year “thinking she’s gonna love me off just what I do online” kid.

I was 22, she 26.

I didn’t know this until I went for the kiss at the end of our date, which consisted of beers and pool at an Applebees.   I got the cheek.

I sent her a message right away letting her know my increased lust for her…

I got shot down with “I dunno, I like you, but I usually date bigger guys, and this hurts like hell”

I did the best thing ever, and I said ok and backed off, admitting defeat – which hurt, but I knew it hurt her just as much.

It wasn’t 3-4 days and she wanted to meet up again – this time  a movie at my place (a farm house in the middle of nowhere southern farm county Ontario)

She again got lost on the main drag, so I went to get her, we got a movie from a place called Blockbuster you have probably never heard of 😉

We watched the movie in my bed – now, strippers aren’t your “usual bears” they have been hit on and had offers by everyone, incl pro athletes and actors – so there isn’t any game for me to play here, and being younger than her – no hope in hell.

She barked at me afterwards for having a 26’er of whiskey on my dresser “WAS THAT TO GET ME DRUNK SO YOU COULD FUCK ME???”

During the night we never hit it, she did end up taking home with her few kittens we had acquired from one of the barn cats – which she later dumped at an animal shelter, while not being allowed to, and getting yelled at by the guy, and calling my in the midst asking how to handle it “TEAR THE FUCK OUTTA THERE” I recommended – she did.

After that I was invited for date 3 in her bedroom.

She lived with her parents – she had me come in the garage door, then hustled me up the stairs.  “lay down” and she left the room.  She came back in just a t-shirt, barely covering 30% of her ass – which was beautiful….

We had an awesome night – in the morning she told me to keep sleeping and left to go get us breakfast, she came back with breakfast bagels and coffee – OMG, this was heaven.

Part 2 Next…

 

 

 

 

Don’t “Chemistry” Yourself Off A Cliff

dating chemistry

“So sorry, I didn’t feel any chemistry”

How many of you have heard (or said) that in the online dating world?

Now – did you say, or even know about chemistry when you fell for your high school sweetheart or other organic relationships?  I am going to assume no – you likely fell over a period of time and different emotions.  This may have taken days, weeks or months – not a few notes passed across the classroom (texts) and one juice together (wine/beer) in the cafeteria (bar).

See where I am going with this?

I get it – and have lived it, first date fireworks are fucking awesome – but my organic relationships  lasted longer than my online ones – where literal nukes went off on the first dates in the form of “chemistry”.

So that said, I just want to say, don’t have so many crazy expectations for a first date – what you really want is compatibility, likeability and attraction.  If those things are met, yes, meet up again.