Mrs Red Flag City

She had sent me a message on match but her profile only had one picture and it wasn’t of her – it was of an ocean.  I quickly told her I need to see what she looks like – she says she took them all down due to receiving “weird messages from men”.

That was the first red flag.

She uploads a blurry head shot, then a couple more showing her very nice body, I am game.  So we start chatting.  She had been through a (I assume rough) divorce 2-3 years prior and told me she had taken quite a bit of time to heal and get her mojo back, which is understandable.  We seem to gel pretty well, so I go for the date and she shoots me down!  She says she had her tonsils pulled 3 weeks ago and she’s still healing from that!

There’s the second red flag.

Our slew of messages has now deteriorated to maybe one a day as I have no idea what this chicks deal is, but she continues to send messages – now asking things you ask in person.  Personality types, what am I looking for, where do I see myself in 5 years type questions.  I send a sly answer and firmly ask again for the meet and she agrees.  I tell her I’ll find a nice spot at the half way point and she likes the idea.

I find a really nice, quiet cafe, booth style seating, nice ambiance – perfect for a first date, but remember what I am dealing with.

Yeah – she said that wasn’t going to work as she used to live in the area (big town with a population of 200,000) and she was fearful of running into someone she knows, and asks if I can pick another spot in the next town over.

3rd red flag, you’re outta here!

I told her this was never going to work, she had way too many rules and restrictions – among whatever the hell else was causing her to act like that.

Wanna know what she responded with?

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Someone needs to heed their own advice.

The end.

 

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The Fall Fling

We met on match the last go-round back in the early fall of 2016 – it was during my last week on the site before a long wanted break.  She was blonde, nicely built, act together – own house, new car, good job etc.  I drove to her town which was about 40 mins west of the GTA to meet at a restaurant for tapas and drinks (you can never go wrong with tapas, gents).

She showed up looking hot in a nice dress and sun glasses – and we quickly got along.

After eating I shot for the usual “wanna go for a walk?” and off we went.  We then ended up sitting on a bench talking about our teen and 20’s jobs – comparing who had done more.  I won, barely – then either she or I suggested going for a drive – both not about to cut this short.  I use to live in the area and know all the back-roads and hidden gems – but she directed us back to her place first.  She gave me a nice tour of her extremely well decorated home before we hopped in her car and headed out for our country drive.

I knew of a cool lake-side marina / restaurant so that was our first stop and it blew her away – mainly because of its proximity to her home and she had no idea it even existed.  We had a couple of drinks and were soon back on our tour.

I had high hopes but as she got more comfortable with me, she began opening up too much and too soon.  Her family issues, hating her father and not caring when he died, renting a room to a college kid and the issues with that, her mother, sister, multiple work issues – the negativity started way too soon and started dripping water on the small flame that had literally just started two hours ago between us.

It was in the midst of this and our tour that we cut it short and pointed the stern back towards her place.  We got there, said our farewells and I headed home.

As I drove I didn’t really know what to think – but I was for sure going to give her another shot, hoping the negative ramblings would end in the future.  Prior girls had hinted at issues on first dates before – but nothing like that unloading.

We were quickly in-touch again and she said dinner was on her, back in her town – I was game.  I picked her up and we went to a very nice old little house that had been converted to a restaurant.  We sat at  a table for two in the backyard dodging falling acorns, which was funny.  It was a very nice time.

Then we ended up back at her place – and within minutes in her bed.  We left dinner around 9pm and I was headed home when we were done around 2am. Holy shit was she loud – no word of a lie she woke the entire block and when I mentioned it, she didn’t even care (lol).  I only left purely to avoid the morning rush – at around 6am the normal 40 min drive home would turn into 2 or 3 hours and she had to work in the morning anyway.

We set the next date at my place – for Friday night – and then we would spend the long weekend together leaving the next day on a road trip to a lake Huron beach / party town.  We had fun at my place going for a nice waterfront waltz and then  making poutine together.

The next day we set out on our 3-4 hour drive, stopping for food at road-side greasy spoons and grabbing snacks at bakery’s before  getting there just in time to grab the last available hotel room in the entire town.

We then went to the beach where she swam and I managed to get burnt to a crisp before heading back into the town to buy booze, head back to the room, order pizza and spend time in the hot tub and pool together.  At the beach I did abruptly remind her to stop talking about work bullshit and to enjoy the moment – she gave me a deer in the headlights look initially, but quickly agreed and was on-board.

We spent the rest of the night between the hot tub / pool and hanging out on the patio drinking and eating pizza outside the sliding glass door behind our room – and having intense, extremely loud sex sprinkled in-between.

That drunken night we had a bit of a spat – I said I didn’t like her negativity and she yelled at me saying it hurt her to say that – so I nipped it in the bud, hoping she would too.

I then knew this was just a fling – I loved the fun we were having but long-term this thing wasn’t happening – we were simply incompatible.  Things like this are fun – but facing each other on Monday morning in the real world??  Whatever it was I had checked out.

The next morning we headed home, me thinking home too, but she insisted we just go back to her place again for the night.  Being done with it, I was a little uneasy staying another night – but I went with it (my car was still at my place).  We stopped for groceries and bought ingredients to make tacos.

-enter another multi hour session-

In the morning I drove back to my place, gave her a kiss, hopped out and I watched her drive away.

How do I get out of this??

Easy – she peppered me with more emotional texts asking for drives to places over an hour away during working hours “I thought I could count on you” etc.  I simply told her we are incompatible – I had fun, but this is done.  She sent many texts back thanking me for not leading her on, she could slow down if I wanted etc. Called and left messages..

Even a month later.

We had technically only been on 5 dates – I’d be cool with it under other circumstances – and I am leaving lots out but I am not here to bash people.

We were just not a match.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Types Of Toronto Women

The landed world traveler

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She literally landed from you-name-it within months or even weeks.  Australia, anywhere in Europe, Asia, middle east, helping starving kids in Africa, whatever else and even next door US.  She has many stories, nothing crazy, but has chosen Toronto to settle and start a family.  Except it’s not that simple honey.  I am usually one of their first realizations to this – never the last.  I avoid them now as they are usually worse than re-bounders with their false timelines and expectations.  This person lives in a bubble.

The Lawyer

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Oh the lawyers.  From recent grads to juniors and  law firm partners, I’ve met them all on dates.  It’s funny too, as the partner is far more relaxed and open than the junior is.  Almost all agree that they bit off more than they could chew and seriously hate the job.

The born and bred city girl

(KIKA) - BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton non riesce proprio a passare inosservata. La bionda ereditiera anche durante una passeggiata a Beverly Hills non ha rinunciato a sfoggiare un look glamour composto abbinando un miniabito nero ai collant, stampati come fossero un paio di autoreggenti, in tinta con il giubbino e le scarpe di vernice dal tacco alto. Per completare il tutto Paris Hilton ha abbinato un bauletto argentato della sua collezione e i grandi occhiali da sole griffati Prada. *** Local Caption ***

Not many dates with this one, they tend to repent me.  I grew up bouncing between south western Ontario and Muskoka, a “country boy” if you will and the city chicks don’t jive with it, nor do I with them. Include Oakville.

 

The non city girl

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This is the one I have the best success with – All surrounding towns and cities are open season, as close as Milton to the west, Pickering to the east and Bradford to the north.  They are so much more real, legit and free.  Canadian country boys also have a deep unknown bond and connection with southern girls from the US that needs further exploration.

The work bitch

Business Communication - Angry Woman

When I moved to the city back in 2008 I couldn’t fathom the amount of workplace back stabbing, bullshit and distrust among people in the corporate workforce.  And after a few years you could pin it on one or a few bitches.  I’d call them out on their bs routinely – these are deeply disturbed idiots acting out and disrupting  entire companies.  Anyone that has worked in an office knows who I am talking about.

That aside – they are also single and dating (imagine my surprise).  The feeling is weird when the work bitch from another company is now in hot pursuit of you.  Remember opposites attract, or better sense, polarity attracts.  They usually have severe daddy issues, bang on the first date and stalk when you don’t call back, you’ve been warned.

 

 

 

 

 

The Hot Pants

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I am a sucker for girls that wear shiny tight black leggings, big time, and when she walked in wearing them I couldn’t have been happier.  I ordered a beer, she wine and then we shared a huge plate of nachos and cheese.  I had big plans for this one, but nearing the end of the date she told me how she absolutely does NOT kiss on a first date and how she had squirmed away from the last guy that tried.

Ugh.  Structured.

“Maybe the cheek”

I won’t say the conversation was all that great, all she really talked about was her mundane job (in an attempt to glorify)  and she had a really low overall energy about herself.  I did manage to make her laugh and loosen up but she was low energy at the core.  I also didn’t get to indulge in her hot-pant glory as we were in a booth and she never got up – so I knew what to plan for date #2 after giving her a peck on the cheek at the end of date #1.

We would play pool!

I set the date up at a pool hall / bar / grille in an attempt to make things more upbeat and active as 2nd dates should be, my hopes were soon dashed.

She showed up looking like she hadn’t slept, or dare I say showered in a week.  Her done up hair legit looked greasy.    All pool tables were being used so we were once again stuck in a booth with her going on and on about her job while nearly putting me to sleep.

Conversation sputtered along until I got the bill and we left.  In both cases her uber driver showed up within seconds killing my end date kissing game, but I did manage to plant one on her willing lips at the end, but I knew this one was D.O.A.

The next day I received a text thanking me for the nachos but she wasn’t feeling the mutual chemistry that we should be at this point and I was quick to agree with her.  I love not having to be the schmuck – and wished her all the best.

Without her telling me of her structured rules I would have kissed her passionately, or at least tried, at the end of date #1 and only one of two things would have happened.  She would have enjoyed it, or cheeked me.  If she enjoyed it, date #2 would have been much more interesting and if she cheeked me it would have been over right then and there.